Couple’s ‘chaotic’ wedding rules spark debate online

‘Too chaotic for me,’ one person said of rulebook sent to guests by bride and groom

Olivia Hebert
Los Angeles
Thursday 16 May 2024 01:16 BST
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A couple’s rules for their wedding have people on Reddit divided.

On the Wedding Shaming forum on Reddit, someone shared a couple’s wedding rulebook that they sent to their guests. The rules had a harsh tone to them, with an insistence that if the guests did not comply with their rules, there would be consequences. The original poster noted, “If someone sent this to me I would simply just not go.”

The list started by saying that the wedding was the couple’s big day, not anyone else’s, with another rule stressing that guests should refer to the first rule. They told guests to make sure not to get in the photographer’s way, and to adhere to the dress code colours, which specifically included only black and gold. Any other colours were strongly recommended against, especially white.

As for drinking, they told guests to pace themselves and informed them that if they brought outside liquor, they’d be escorted out of the venue. Those who might take issue with the music were told to “go home.”

“If you can’t handle or dislike the music being played, simply go home. This is a celebration, not a funeral,” they wrote. “This is a ‘Taking over for the ‘99 & 2000’s’ type of event, so there will be twerking.”

Some other restrictions included asking guests not to make big announcements or proposals, sit down all night, or rearrange the seats because “there was a seating chart for a reason.”

They addressed any potential naysayers who didn’t help finance the wedding, writing: “If you didn’t put out any money for the wedding, keep your should’ve, could’ve, would’ve to yourself. Your opinion is irrelevant.”

They concluded the list by standing by their rules, and cheekily adding that all guests should do their best to “turn” up.

Bride, groom and wedding guests making a toast
Bride, groom and wedding guests making a toast (Getty Images)

People in the forum were split on whether or not the couple were “a******s” for writing these guidelines.

“I feel like all of these could be rewritten to not sound like an a**hole,” one person wrote.

“None of the rules are that bad,” someone else commented. “But it’s weird that some of them have to be said.”

“Perhaps I should make an ‘announcement’ before I’m escorted out,” another joked, to which someone else responded with another reference to the list: “Be sure to stay out of the photographer’s way!”

“What kind of list is this,” somebody commented. “Too chaotic for me.”

“It’s funny because, [in my opinion] a lot of these rules are what I’d usually assume, to the point that I wouldn’t ever expect anyone to send them out,” one user wrote. “They probably could have worded them more politely and been ok. But there’s also a few that are just red flags, guaranteed bridezilla/groomzilla s***.”

Sometimes couples send out what they expect from guests when they send out their wedding invitations, but ordinarily, the wording of the guidelines isn’t blunt.

However, these rules are usually left unspoken. Brides wrote that wedding etiquette is usually socially learned and doesn’t take a lot to get across.

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