Poetic licence
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Your support makes all the difference.A new wonder-drug is taking the US by storm. Thousands of prescriptions have been issued for Viagra, which causes sustained erections even in cases of long-term impotency. Viagra may be available in Britain soon.
New Lead for Old Pencils
Give thanks to modern science
And three tumescent cheers
This drug refreshes partners
Who haven't worked for years
Like Mr B from Chelmsford
Whose sex life was a wreck
But now needs wire and wing nuts
To keep himself in check
Watch pale in the moonlight
The ageing swain's success;
His bed looks like a cub-tent
He proudly utters: "Yess!"
His paramour beside him
Lies blushing in her gown
And tentatively asks him
What time the thing goes down.
"Eventually my darling."
He gives a modest cough
"That is, at least, I hope so.
The quilt keeps falling off."
The bingo hall's deserted
Allotments overgrown
You have to use a crowbar
When Darby gets with Joan
And at the British Legion
The police know in advance
They wait with water cannon
Whenever there's a dance
While chambermaids in Frinton
Now issue freezing spoons
To victims of Viagra
On perma-honeymoons
They lumber from their coaches
Engorged to say the least
And cannot wait till bedtime
To make the two-backed beast
But quite apart from nookie
Or frightening the cat
We may have found a new place
For man to hang his hat
Martin Newell
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