poetic licence
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If You Don't Want to Know the Score Now, Look Away
The undulating grainy mush
Of football on the telly
A commentator struggling with the names
Janacek, De Grootny,
Wozcnienski, Vermicelli
Plus highlights and the goals of other games
I do not like it. Couldn't care
I do not know the players or the clubs
I leave that passive privilege
To those red-eared bores
Who huddle round gigantic screens in pubs
In crippling shallow matinees
Their simian oohs and ahhs
Spill out of open doors as I go past.
A man not into football
Is a pervert come from Mars
Forbidden manly ritual and outcast
I'm starved of soaps and serials
In desolate saloons
While Hindsight in a blazer rattles on
The sound of soccer boredom
Fills the summer afternoons
Hallowed be thy name, for it is Ron.
The only type of soccer
I would ever wish to watch
A dream I fear is slightly out of reach
Would be Transvestite Junkies
Versus Biker Queens on Scotch
Playing five-a-side by moonlight on the beach
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