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People rally around mother who explained why she ‘hates being a mom sometimes’

‘It takes me so much to just hold it in until I can’t anymore. This is me when I can’t,’ she says

Kaleigh Werner
New York
Thursday 26 October 2023 19:56 BST
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A woman is being saluted for her candid admission about not loving parenting 100 per cent of the time.

TikToker Bad Juju (@bvd.juju) opened up to her followers about how she “hates being a mom sometimes” in a 14 September video, which has since received over one million views on the platform.

“Not everyone’s going to admit to this, but I hate being a mom, sometimes…most of the time,” she started. “I want to be selfish, I want to put myself first, I want to put my mental health first.”

“But with a child with mental health needs it’s like where do I have the time? Where do I have the mental capacity?” the TikToker asked. “No one tells you how patient you need to be.”

The new mother didn’t disclose the age of her child, but she confessed he’s kept her up through the early hours of the morning before. Without concerns about how to keep calm while running on little to no sleep, the frustrated parent took to the app to disclose the sense of hopelessness she’s experiencing.

“It takes me so much to just hold it in until I can’t anymore. This is me when I can’t. My son kept me up until 6am yesterday. I had four hours of sleep if even that, with a pounding migraine,” she admitted. “I’m just really at my wit’s end.”

Promptly after Bad Juju published her thoughts, viewers took to her comments section to share their own candid admissions about the difficulties of parenting, while others assured her that she was not alone and offered words of encouragement.

“I’m glad you’re honest. It’s so much pressure put on having kids even from the grandparents. I have always been burdened by familial responsibilities,” one person wrote, while another said: “I applaud your bravery. Not many people would speak like this, and you SHOULD. Thank you.”

“My son is almost 12, autistic and has ADHD. I love my son, but the struggle is real, especially now that he’s in middle school. It’s brutal,” someone else wrote.

“We need to allow mothers to express these feelings. I’ve heard men say that they regret having kids, and no one bats an eye,” another viewer noted.

One viewer took the opportunity to reassure the TikToker, and to acknowledge that they have felt similarly as a parent. “I hope people don’t take this as you don’t love your son. I ADORE my baby. He is my WORLD but I truly do miss my life before him...” they wrote.

On 21 October, Bad Juju responded to her critics with a follow-up video, in which she addressed her original remarks. In the video, she took the time to read off a handful of messages she’d gotten from supporters since she first spoke up.

The Independent has contacted Bad Juju for comment.

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