Miriam Margolyes reveals why she’s finally moving in with partner after 54 years

Actor and memoirist has never lived with her partner, Heather Sutherland, despite the couple being in a relationship since the 1960s

Nicole Vassell
Friday 03 November 2023 13:18 GMT
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Miriam Margolyes has Graham Norton and guests in hysterics

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Miriam Margolyes can always be counted upon to do things her own way, from her accidental F-bombs on live daytime broadcasts, to her varied career as an actor and writer.

Now, the Age of Innocence star is further proving that she does not adhere to the traditional expectations of a romantic relationship, by announcing plans to move in with her partner – 54 years into their union.

Margolyes, 82, met her partner Heather Sutherland in 1969, when the pair worked together on a BBC radio drama. Though the couple have been together for more than half their lives, they have never cohabited and have constantly maintained a long-distance relationship.

“We are together, but we live apart,” she explained of her and Sutherland’s living arrangement on the forthcoming edition (Friday 3 November) of The Graham Norton Show.

“She is in Amsterdam, and I am in London, but now we want to live together.”

She added: “I really do want to live with her because we are old, and we haven’t got much time left. It is silly to live apart.”

Miriam Margolyes
Miriam Margolyes (PA)

Earlier this year, she named living apart from Sutherland as being a crucial part of the success of their long-lasting relationship.

“We were able to lead our lives without diminishing them,” Margolyes explained in Vogue. “I didn’t want her to have to give up anything. And I didn’t want to give up anything.

“I wanted my cake and I wanted to eat it too. And so far, it’s worked.”

She added that she believed that gay people had “more freedom” to define the terms of their romantic relationships. “Gay people have the luck to be able to fashion the relationship they want. It’s much more flexible for us,” she explained.

“I think gay people are very lucky, because we are not conventional, we are a group slightly apart. It gives us an edge. We’re good artists, we’re good musicians.”

As a follow-up to her supremely successful memoir This Much is True, Margolyes released a second collection of essays in September, titled Oh Miriam! Stories from an Extraordinary Life.

In the memoir, she reflects on some of her interactions with a wide variety of celebrities throughout the years. One of the anecdotes recalls a previous visit to The Graham Norton Show, during which she had an awkward interaction with Matthew Perry.

Naming their exchange as one of the rare times she “didn’t quite ‘mesh’ with another guest” on a chat show, the Harry Potter actor reflected on asking the Friends star a personal question on such a public forum.

“Matthew was expecting a bland conversation that stayed on the surface of things, but I was warming to my theme and immediately launched in, burrowing deeper,” Margolyes wrote. “I asked him if he was an alcoholic. On reflection, I really wish I hadn’t.”

The Graham Norton Show airs on Fridays on BBC One at 10.40pm.

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