Martha Stewart says ‘bigot’ father slapped her after she got engaged to Jewish fiancé
Martha first got engaged to her now-ex Andrew in 1961
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Martha Stewart has shared how her father, Edward Kostyra, protested against her engagement to her now ex-husband, Andrew Stewart.
The 83-year-old businesswoman spoke candidly about her relationship with her father in her new Netflix documentary, Martha, released on Wednesday (October 30). She recalled that when she went to Barnard College in 1960, she first met Andrew – who went to Yale University – through a mutual friend and quickly fell in love with him.
However, she said that when she and Andrew got engaged, her father was not happy about it and he hit her.
“I went home and told my dad [about the engagement], and my dad slapped me,” Martha says in the documentary. “And he slapped me hard on my face and said, ‘No, you’re not marrying him. He’s a Jew.’ I remember getting that slap.”
She added about her father’s behavior: “I was not at all surprised because he was a bigot. And he was impulsive.”
However, she made it clear that she wasn’t calling off her engagement, telling her father: “I’m going to get married no matter what you think.”
Martha shared that her mother stepped in to help make her wedding dress, which the TV host thought was “beautiful.”
“The wedding day was very happy, very nice,” she added. “It was the beginning of my life.”
Martha and Andrew tied the knot in 1961 before getting divorced in 1990. The former couple share one daughter, Alexis, 59. Martha has also since confessed to having an affair during her marrige.
Elsewhere in the documentary, the founder of Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia opened up about her childhood, describing the complicated relationship she had with her father. She noted that there was a habit of being a “perfectionist” in the family, which started with him. She also said that as a child, she was “the ideal daughter.”
“I wanted to learn. He had a lot to teach and I listened,” Martha, who was one of six children, said. “I was the one trusted to iron his linen shirts. And he had the Harris Tweed jacket and the turquoise-blue tie that matched his beautiful blue eyes. My father was the handsomest father.”
She continued: “He loved me. And it was obvious to everybody that I was his favorite. He thought I was more like him than the other children.”
Martha claimed that while her father was a “perfectionist,” he “was a failure in work,” as he was “stuck in a salesman job.”
“He sometimes started the day off with a large glass of coffee and red wine,” she said. “So is that an alcoholic? Maybe. But he never looked like a drunk. He never stumbled around and threw things or broke things.”
Martha’s brother, Eric Scott, also chimed in to say their father “couldn’t support six children” and they needed food. So they had their gardens, and his family would trade things from there “for goods that [they] couldn’t grow.” According to Martha, Kostyra was very critical of his children when they were gardening.
“He stood over you like a sergeant. Mean. Mean. ‘You’re not doing it right,’” she said, pretending to be her father. Scott also said that when his father would give his children an order and if they “didn’t follow through, [they] paid the penalty.”
Martha’s other brother – Frank Kostyra – claimed he and his siblings received their “whoopings” from their father with a “yardstick,” which they “dreaded.” Scott then added: “To this day, I despise gardening.”
Along with Frank and Scott, Martha’s sister, Kathryn Evans, also features in the Netflix documentary. The book author’s younger sister, Laura Plimpton, died in 2014 at age 59 after suffering a massive brain aneurysm. Martha’s younger brother, George Christiansen, died unexpectedly in 2017 at age 65 after suffering a suspected heart attack.
The national domestic abuse helpline offers support for women on 0808 2000 247, or you can visit the Refuge website. There is a dedicated men’s advice line on 0808 8010 327. Those in the US can call the domestic violence hotline on 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
Other international helplines can be found via www.befrienders.org
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