Man criticised for making fun of brother who cried after the birth of his child: ‘Toxic masculinity nonsense’

‘He’s one of these, “men don’t cry guys”’

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A man has been criticised and called “toxic” for making fun of his brother for calling his family crying after the birth of his son.

In a post shared in the Reddit forum “Am I The A**hole?,” u/ad_saidhowitis, a 25-year-old man detailed how he and his wife recently welcomed their first child, who is now four months old. He noted that when he called his family to share the news, he got a bit “emotional”.

“We FaceTimed my mom so she could meet her grandson. My wife was pointing the camera at me while I was holding him,” he explained. “I was sobbing the whole time. That triggered my wife and mom to start crying, so that made me even more emotional because I was so happy our son was finally here.”

He also acknowledged that his brother and sister were at his mother’s house during the phone call. However, he noted that his brother “pointed out how funny it [was] to him” that the first-time parent was crying, which the original poster [OP] wasn’t very pleased about.

“He’s one of these, ‘men don’t cry guys,’” the post continued. “We are used to it by now. However I didn’t like him laughing about an important moment in my life like it was no big deal to cry about. It was the birth of my son.”

The parent also shared that while he was at his mother’s house, his son “started crying because he was hungry,” and in response, his brother said that the newborn looked ‘like his daddy’s son’.

When OP asked his brother what he meant by that comment, he said that it was “because of [him] crying like a little b****. But ‘don’t worry’ hopefully Kai [OP’s son] doesn’t end up as bad as [his father]”.

However, the man said that he was once again unamused by his brother’s commentary, as it was starting to get “annoying”.

“My brother thought it was funny, but [to be honest], it really irked me,” he continued. “It’s not the first time he says something about that and [it’s] not like I haven’t told him it’s annoying. He needs to stop.”

In response, OP said that he told his brother that it was “better that [he] cried like a b*** than ran like a b***,” referring to how his sibling didn’t see his daughter until a month after she was born, as he “didn’t want to be involved at first”. According to OP, his brother was hurt by his statement.

“He’s somewhat involved even now so it was already a touchy subject for him,” he continued. “My mom got mad at us both. [Brother] was obviously offended by it. So bad he didn’t even want to say bye when we left.”

“He won’t stop acting like I was a huge asshole for bringing something [up that was] personal for him, when he was poking fun at me,” he added. “Don’t know now if that was going too far.”

As of 10 June, the post has more than 11,900 upvotes, with many readers coming to the new father’s defence, claiming that the brother’s perspective on crying and behaviour towards his daughter is “toxic”.

“Your brother believes in some toxic masculinity nonsense and is ignorant. He got his feelings hurt because he decided to be a nasty [a**hole],” one wrote. “Too bad, so sad.”

“[The brother’s] happy to make ‘jokes’  about how unmanly OP is, but couldn’t muster up enough man sauce to be there for his own kid,” another wrote. “That’s the sound of bridle, faux masculinity trying to not shatter at a slight poke.

Many readers also praised the OP for standing up for himself and for showing what a “loving” relationship between father and son looks like.

“Your brother tried to devalue what honest, loving human relationships look like, and you called him on his BS,” one wrote. “Sounds to me like he needed that reality check.”

“And seriously, you’ve got a new baby AND you still came up with an awesome instant comeback,” another added. “That’s pretty impressive at the best of times, but with a new baby brain, that’s quite a way beyond impressive. Good for you for standing up to what is clearly a toxic sibling.”