Women who are cheated on actually benefit from greater self-confidence, finds research

Women who are cheated on ultimately develop higher self-confidence 

Chelsea Ritschel
in New York
Thursday 08 March 2018 16:35 GMT
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Finding out a partner has cheated may feel like the ultimate betrayal, but research suggests women who are cheated on actually “win” at life in the long run.

According to psychological research on the effects of break-ups caused by cheating, and who benefits in these situations, a survey of 5,705 people from 96 countries revealed interesting findings.

The study found there are actually quite a few scientifically-backed benefits for women who were cheated on - mainly because they are no longer with an unfaithful partner but also because women ultimately grow from the experience and learn to choose better mates in the future.

And the real loser, apart from the unfaithful ex, is the “other woman,” as she is the one that is with a partner who has proven to be unfaithful.

According to Dr Craig Morris, one of the authors of the study: “The woman who ‘loses’ her mate to another woman will go through a period of post-relationship grief and betrayal, but come out of the experience with higher mating intelligence that allows her to better detect cues in future mates that may indicate low mate value.

“Hence, in the long-term, she ‘wins.’”

So while it may hurt in the moment, as betrayal can be painful emotionally and physically - the overall outcome is often self-growth.

The study reports that six months to a year later, women who were cheated on developed a higher emotional intelligence - in addition to higher self-confidence.

Women who are cheated on ultimately choose better partners in the future
Women who are cheated on ultimately choose better partners in the future

Dr Morris said: “Most women who have lost a mate to another woman report a ‘silver lining’ of higher mating intelligence. What this means, in their words, is that they are more attuned to cutes of infidelity in a future mate, more aware of how other women interact with their mate, have more self-confidence and more self-awareness, and independence in general.”

Essentially, women who were cheated on develop “low mate value” detection skills - meaning their next partner will likely treat them a lot better.

And if that weren’t satisfying enough, the researchers also found the cheating partner’s new relationship most likely won’t last.

“Logic and anecdotal evidence suggest that the woman who poached a man from another woman will not have a successful long-term relationship in most cases,” the research stated.

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