Leave your trainers at home: Etiquette rules of white-collar sex parties

The rules you need to know after 'no means no'

(mediaphotos-istock)

Being the new guy is never easy, from sneaking into the gym for the first time or stepping sweaty-palmed into work on your first day. The same goes for diving into the world of sex parties, which are booming in the UK thanks to the launch of white-collar orientated orgies.

An orgy might not strike you as the most controlled of environments, but respect parties have strict rules that keep everyone as safe as they are satisfied.

Of course, the basics of sexual consent apply at sex parties as they do anywhere else. But by ignoring or misunderstanding the rules of swinging can make attending a party in your birthday suit with strangers even more awkward than it already is.

Emma Sayle is the CEO of Killing Kittens, which throws exclusive nights and workshops around the world told The Independent that their rules start with clothing.

Attendees, who have to be Killing Kittens members, must wear masks, and leave their jeans, t-shirts and trainers at home.

“No means no,” is the most important rule of all, she says. And no matter how heady the atmosphere, party-goers must also resist the urge to join in with sex unless they are invited, and keep their hands to themselves.

“Anyone who breaks the rules will be thrown out or get a slap from whoever they tried to be pushy with."

Setting personal boundaries and considering what you would be comfortable with is also wise before heading into a sex party - be it a swingers party or a BDSM event. This will help you to relax, and also understand that other people – no matter how sexually open-minded - also have their limits.

“The best thing is to just relax and take in the atmosphere, chat to members and just let things happen naturally.”

One regular at London's high-end sex parties told The Independent: "There's a perception that these parties are a free-for-all, but body language is incredible subtle yet important at these events, indicating what is and isn't acceptable at a particular moment.

"Groups generally police themselves, with everyone looking out for each other. Someone may try something inappropriate that they think they can get away with because the organisers can't see - but one of the participants is just as likely to raise a complaint."

According to alternative relationship website Heednly, it's important to respect the privacy of those who you're swinging with.

For example the real identities of your playmates should not be revealed to anyone else; including their names, pictures, or contact details.

There are also some basic relationship tips which should also be heeded; whenever there is communication to tee-up a swinging meeting, both partners should be included.

And there's one final tip that's applicable to all situations in life, that's just as important when swinging: be punctual.