3 tests people use to see if you like them as more than just a friend, according to experts

Is love not as complicated as we thought?

Kashmira Gander
Monday 15 February 2016 12:24 GMT
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(Anchiy/iStock)

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Relationships are complicated – otherwise divorce lawyers, relationship counsellors and infidelity dating websites would be out of business. Your closest friend could become your lover, and your partner of decades could one day become a stranger.

But one team of scientists claim that love isn’t so complex after all, and were able to pinpoint the seven ways which friends attempt to deduce whether a pal is attracted to them.

A classic study into heterosexual relationships by US researchers asked 90 undergraduate students at the University of Montana about how they interacted with friends of the opposite sex who they were romantically interested in.

While the tests themselves might not work, watching out for such behaviour could uncover whether a person is attempting to scope you out as a future lover.

The result was around 158 techniues which participants secretly carried out in the hope of revealing whether a friend fancied them, too. The researchers were able to reduce this down to seven common tests. Here are the top three methods, according to the New Scientist.

Testing their patience

Trying to assess how much of certain types of behaviour a person can stand was one of the most popular techniques, the study found.

This could include hinting for compliments and asking for help when it doesn’t benefit the friend being tested. The results may reveal whether the person reciprocates romantic feelings.

The triangle

Researchers found the second most popular technique was “triangulation”, where a person will involve others to test the strength of the relationship.

One participant said that he would test a love interest’s level of commitment by meeting other women and monitoring how she reacted.

Only joking?

Yawning and swinging your arm around the person you like at the movies may seem like a warn-out stereotype, but similar behaviour was adopted by participants.

The volunteers admitted to joking about liking the other person romantically, or increasing levels of touching to see whether they were comfortable and responded positively.

A separate study by US psycologists took a different approach to relationships - and claimed that it possible to make anyone fall in love with you by asking 36 simple questions.

Questions included whether the person would want to be famous, what a perfect date would involved, and what they feel most grateful about in their life.

Such questions were designed to create mutual vulnerability between a pair.

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