Louis Tomlinson on ‘idolising’ his late mother: ‘I didn’t realise how reliant I’d become on her’

‘I thought I’d always have a sounding board,’ says singer

Louis Tomlinson has opened up about the grief of losing his mother in a new interview.

The former One Direction singer’s mother, Johannah Deakin, died in 2016 aged 43 after being diagnosed with leukaemia.

Speaking to The Telegraph, Tomlinson explained he shared everything with his mother, from intimate details about his personal life to having access to his emails.

“One thing I’ve learnt since losing her is that any decision, even if I knew the answer, I’d call her,” the 28-year-old.

“I didn’t realise how reliant I’d become on her,” he added. “That was the hardest thing for me, understanding that living life after meant making decisions on my own.”

Tomlinson said when his mother was alive, he thought he would “always have a sounding board”, adding: ”There was a different level of credibility with my mum, because I idolised her.”

In March 2019, Tomlinson was struck by another family death, that of his 18-year-old half-sister, Félicité, who died of an accidental drug overdose.

Discussing how both deaths impacted him, the singer explained they felt “very individual” and each had a “big impact”.

“But I think dealing with the family, how I can be there for them, that was a lot easier the second time because the first time I was grieving and didn’t know what to say,” he said.

Tomlinson said he did not seek therapy after either of the bereavements, describing himself as “a little bit old-fashioned when it comes to therapy”.

“I’m sure it’s incredible, but I thought I’d be all right, and I have been till now," he said.

“I know the things I’ve been upset about in my life are s***, but I can’t change them, so you have to make the best of what you’ve got.”