I can’t imagine anything worse than cycling on a Lime bike – here’s why

With Brent Council looking to ban the toxic-coloured green bikes that have become a blight on our streets – and a massive inconvenience for the elderly and disabled – Olivia Petter argues that their demise is long overdue

Ban this bike!: a woman is photographed riding a Lime bike, presumably annoying many in the process (Getty)

I realised how much I hated Lime bikes when a friend asked me to meet her for a swim one evening. The location was an issue. In London, there are certain spots that are incredibly easy to travel to on public transport despite being on polar opposite sides of the city. Waterloo to West Hampstead. Shepherds Bush to Liverpool Street. Stockwell to literally anywhere.

Then there are places that, despite being close to each other on a map, are practically impossible to travel to. Call them TfL black holes, if you will, where travelling from A to B will involve several train lines and buses. The journey from my flat to this particular lido was one such crater.

“It will take me about 45 minutes to get there and I can’t justify paying for a £25 Uber,” I texted my friend. “Obviously just get a Lime?” she replied. “It’s 15 mins.” I sighed. The assumption that anybody and everybody travels around London via Lime bikes had once again come back to bite me. “I don’t use those,” I wrote, knowing what was coming next: questions, confusion, and a lot of laughter emojis.

Yes, I know Lime bikes are faster. Yes, I know they’re more efficient. And yes, I know it makes more sense. But I’m still not getting on one of them. Among my friends, I’m one of the few who doesn’t get around London via a hideous green bicycle. There are roughly 30,000 of the bikes on our streets and, as far as I’m concerned, the people using them are all a part of one big, lime-y cult. And when I read that Brent Council is plotting to ban them entirely, I felt relief. Finally! I have confirmation I’m not alone in despising these things…

Lime began its operations in London in 2018, having been founded a year earlier in San Francisco. At the time, they were sold as a sustainable and efficient addition to the city’s transport links, as opposed to a daily blight for all commuters. I’ve been resistant to them since their arrival and not, I should clarify, because I can’t ride a bike. I can, I promise. I’m also not against the idea of cycling, per se – it’s definitely far better from an environmental perspective. No. The first reason I haven’t joined the Lime cult is because I don’t drive.

I have a licence that I obtained at the age of 17 for no reason other than the fact that all my friends were getting theirs – I’m from London and have never found the need for a car. Plus, I can’t really afford one. So the roads are slightly unfamiliar to me, at least in the sense that I don’t feel confident trying to navigate them on a bike. The second reason is sweat. Surely all this cycling means you arrive everywhere feeling a little bit hot and flustered? Not that the Tube is much better, by the way, particularly in the summer. But at least I can travel with one of those electric little fans that keeps you cool.

There’s also the limitation placed on clothing. Travelling by bike imposes some outfit restrictions that I’d find quite hard to square: short dresses and skirts aren’t exactly the most cycling-appropriate ensemble. Plus I find the idea of bringing a change of clothes just a bit of a faff. Where do you get changed? How much earlier will I need to arrive at places in order to change?

The third and main explanation, though, is that I just don’t think it’s very safe. Nobody I know who uses Lime bikes rides them with a helmet – why is there no law requiring cyclists to do so? And I’ve seen the way people drive in this city: recklessly and with a hostility towards cyclists not unlike my own. It’s dangerous.

Piles of strewn-about Lime bikes are a familiar sight in modern London (Getty)

On top of all this, though, there are other mounting concerns about Lime bikes brewing in circles far beyond my own stubborn little brain. You don’t have to look far in London to find stacks of them scattered haphazardly across pavements, causing trouble for pedestrians, particularly those who are elderly or those who use wheelchairs. As a result of this, Brent could be the first UK council to ban Lime bikes entirely, with Muhammed Butt, the Brent Council leader, calling for change in order to better regulate them. He’s suggested dedicating parking bays for them, as well as introducing fines for users who abandon their e-bikes in the wrong location. “The nuisance they’re causing [...] they’re just being left with no care and attention,” Butt said on Radio 4’s Today programme last week.

There have also been incidents of bikes falling onto parked cars and causing serious damage, while one photograph circulating social media showed one lodged in a tree. Banning them sounds like the obvious solution – but perhaps all that’s needed is better regulation. Other councils have already implemented dedicated parking bays for Lime bikes, so perhaps it’s only a matter of time until others follow suit. More cycling lanes across the city would be helpful, too.

Even if all this does happen, I still won’t be jumping on board. I know it’s in my best interests – and given the no-driving thing and total lack of road awareness, I suspect it’s in everyone else’s best interests as well.