Leaving your job? Count to 10 and swallow your pride

Two very different people left their jobs very publicly last week. Nicola Horlick was suspended from her pounds 1m-a-year post as pension fund manager at Deutsche Morgan Grenfell in a welter of accusations and counter- accusations of misconduct and unfair dismissal. DJ Chris Evans, whose salary is also in the seven-figure bracket, jumped ship, leaving Radio1 bosses desperately filling in his breakfast-show slot as he sloped off for a round of golf. The media have enjoyed a feeding frenzy over the two cases. How would the experts have advised Horlick and Evans? Jeff Grout, headhunter with Robert Half International, Mary Spillane, head of CMB Image Consultants and Ben Williams, Edinburgh-based chartered psychologist, offer a few hints .

2 GO OUT LIKE A LAMB. Histrionics are counter-productive. Telling the boss exactly what you think is "only OK in comedies," says Ben Williams. "Don't be abrasive. You may want to rejoin the company one day." Jeff Grout suggests the demeanour to aim for is one of "professional aloofness, even if you're aggrieved".

2 DON'T LOOK BACK IN ANGER. "The number-one no-no is bad-mouthing your former employer," says Jeff Grout. Ben Williams adds: "At a subsequent job interview, if you have left because of difficulties, get ready to describe them realistically - but not emotionally. Talk positively about the company you're hoping to go to, not negatively about the one you've left." Whingeing can rebound nastily. "Don't talk about how badly you've been treated," says Mary Spillane. "People always think 'There are two sides to every story'. And remember that in many sectors you'll bump into the same people again. If you have a reputation as a prima donna, you won't find work easily."

2 PUBLICITY IS A TWO-EDGED SWORD. "Don't be lulled into a false sense of comfort with the media. The press will jump on good headlines and love you for 24 hours, then they will chew you up and spit you out," warns Mary Spillane. "Nicola Horlick could have had the headlines she wanted, but she attacked the whole thing with far too much vigour. If the situation escalates to the point where you need a PR, then take one on - but one who will manage and direct the coverage, not one who measures success in terms of column inches or notoriety. That just makes you look self- serving."

2 REVENGE IS A DISH BEST EATEN COLD. Simmer down before you make decisions. "Don't let your emotions take over, and never act quickly," says Mary Spillane. "Don't get mad, get even - on a professional level, not a personal one. Move on - and make them realise they were foolish to lose you."

2 PRESERVE YOUR REPUTATION. "There is a network in industry, not governed by the formal reference but by the quiet word," warns Jeff Grout. "It is very significant in terms of positive or negative impact." And, cautions Mary Spillane: "People always remember the negative things. You may have to remind them of the good bits, but they'll always be ready to say 'Ooh, aren't you the one who ...?'. People have very long memories."