LA life

Anyone concerned about the loose morals of LA may be relieved to hear that God has finally arrived here - although His presence is taking an extraordinarily unusual format. Cindy Crawford may have sex appeal and her own exercise video, but God is currently hotter than a three hour work-out in LA and He is now launching his own diet plan.

Testimony to His success, He has caught the attention of several of my female neighbours who, though palm tree-like in terms of slenderness, are fearful of missing out on any new or passing trend.

"JC is helping me resist the cookie jar," says Dawn in apartment 9. "And I'm not talking about Jenny Craig. It's great - just like Weight Watchers, except that if you think you've got someone real spiritual and powerful watching over you all the time, you know that He's going to see you eating that ice cream."

Only in the land which invented the all-you-can-eat-buffet, alongside all-you-can-take evangelism, should it come as no surprise that a new movement would eventually emerge to lead the way to a fat-free future.

First Place is described by its devotees as "a Christ-centered health programme". It is a weight loss plan that combines dietary advice with lessons from the Bible; and each week faithful groups gather for a weigh- in, prayers, bible study and repentance for too many doughnuts.

It's hard to imagine the wannabes around here taking it seriously. But in the last four years, First Place has become the fastest growing diet plan in the US, giving the other JC a serious run for her money. It began in the bible belt regions of the South and has spread, even to unholy LA.

"From the moment I gave myself up to the Lord, my weight loss was a steady 2lbs to 5lbs each week," says Dawn, who has lost 10lb in total. "You see, knowing that I'm not doing this alone, having God on my side, makes all the difference."

So does this mean she has become religious in other respects? Has she been to church on Sunday? "Well, no. But no-one at the weight watching group says you have to."