Husband sparks debate after admitting he leaves ‘itemised tip’ for wife’s ‘annoying’ restaurant habits

‘Your money does not make up for your wife’s behaviour,’ one critic writes

A husband’s candid admission about his wife’s “annoying” restaurant habits has prompted an internet frenzy.

On 18 August, a Reddit user posted in the popular “Am I The A**hole” thread to ask the internet whether it thought he was in the wrong “for leaving itemised tips to compensate” for his wife’s frustrating behaviours whenever they go out to dinner.

The man explained that they’re a couple in their 30s, and enjoy using their disposable income to go out for nice meals. However, his wife always finds a reason to complain. “She always complains, sends food back if it’s not absolutely perfect, and makes needless requests/substitutions (she doesn’t have allergies or sensitivities),” he admitted. “It can easily take five minutes for her just to order her own food and sometimes I’ve already finished my meal by time she gets her food because she sends it back, asks for modifications, etc.”

The Redditor explained that he had tried to talk to his partner, but because she wouldn’t listen, he decided to take matters into his own hands. Eventually, he began to please the serving staff by detailing each tip amount he would leave them, based on what request his wife had made. “I recently started writing what my wife does on the receipt and then calculating a tip (in addition to the normal gratuity) to compensate,” he wrote.

For example, he may give them an extra $5 for the five questions his wife asked about a single menu item, and another $5 for asking her drink to be brought back because it has “too much ice”. While keeping tabs may have temporarily cleared his conscience, it wasn’t long before his wife noticed how long he spent calculating one server’s tip.

“She didn’t notice me doing it the first two or three times but last night she noticed I was spending a lot of time on writing a tip amount and asked why,” the Redditor proclaimed. “I showed her what I wrote. She’s been mad at me since, saying I’m embarrassing her to the staff. I told her she’s embarrassing us both.”

He concluded his post by asking whether Reddit users thought he was being petty towards his wife. More than 3,100 people commented, adding their two sense. “This is great. Maybe seeing it written down will give her some perspective,” one supporter wrote, while another agreed: “Challenge her to going out to dinner once without a single complaint. I wouldn’t go out with her again if she acts like that. You’re a gem.”

An opposer commented: “Your money does not make up for your wife’s behaviour. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect and dignity. Your wife treats them like s*** and you throw money at them. All you are really doing is enabling her to continue this behaviour.”

Although the husband prefaced his story by explaining that his wife is always polite and she’s “not a bad person,” experienced industry workers didn’t seem to care.

“I own a restaurant and given the situations you explained I believe her first time dining with us would be her last regardless of tip size,” one individual said. “No matter how ‘polite’ all of your wife’s requests are, they are not at all polite to the staff or the establishment.”

Another person added: “I don’t understand why you use your fun fund on dining out with your wife because it sounds like anything but fun.”

The Redditor then addressed all the internet trolls attacking his wife’s personality, when he spoke about how his wife didn’t think she was doing anything wrong. Instead, he explained that she always strives to exceed expectations in her line of work. “She said reading this was brutally eye-opening but we both also found some laughter and had a good discussion,” he added.

The Independent has reached out to the user for a comment.