Man teases ‘condescending’ wife after she lost out on dream job, sparking debate

‘If it’s not supposed to be insulting when the wife does it, then it shouldn’t be when the husband does it’

A man has sparked a debate online after revealing that he gave his “condescending” wife a taste of her own medicine when she lost out on her dream job.

In a viral Reddit post shared to the popular forum “Am I The A**hole” on Monday, Reddit user Chemical_Eagle1007 spoke about a recent fight he had with his wife, which led to him getting called a “huge jerk”.

The man, 33, described his wife, 27, as controlling, and detailed her need to be condescending towards almost his every action.

“Very often when I do just about anything, whether it be a household chore, assembling a piece of furniture, taking a picture, or writing a presentation for work, she’ll do this thing where she’ll condescendingly say, ‘You were so close to getting it right,’ really drawing out the ‘so close’ part,” he wrote. “I’ve told her dozens of times that I’d prefer for her to stop because it sounds so condescending, but she insists that she’s complimenting me.”

He went on to explain how his wife has been undergoing an intense interview process for a well-paying job in a competitive field. But when she was rejected from the job opportunity, he couldn’t help but point out how close his wife was to working in her dream role.

“My wife came to me crying. I immediately comforted her and ‘You were so close’ blurted out,” he said. “Her head whipped up and she asked what I meant by that. I said she was so close to getting the job, but was just a bit off. She immediately walked out to stay at her friend’s house, where she is currently sulking. She finally sent me a text this afternoon calling me a huge jerk.”

The Reddit post, which received more than 20k votes since it was shared, immediately sparked a debate in the comments section as to whether the husband was in the wrong, despite his wife’s constant beratement over the years. Many users agreed that the husband was justified in his choice of words, considering she uses the phrase “so close” all the time. Some people also thought that because she reacted to the words “so close” as an insult, perhaps that’s how she meant it towards her husband too.

“The fact that she took offense immediately, just proves that she knows she’s being condescending every single time she says it to you – but putting you down makes her feel good about herself it seems,” commented u/realdappermuis. “Maybe this will be a wake-up call for her to stop being an a**hole to you.”

“Right? If it’s an insult when he says it then she knows exactly what she means when she says it,” agreed u/ALostAmphibian.

“If it’s not supposed to be insulting when the wife does it, then it shouldn’t be when the husband does it,” said u/Quaiker. “Can’t have your cake and eat it, too.”

Others felt that the couple were both in the wrong in their treatment towards each other. One Redditor, who goes by u/Fmeson, said his wife should stop “giving minor backhanded insults,” while the husband shouldn’t have “kicked her while she’s down.”

The original poster clarified in the comments section that it wasn’t his “intention to give [his wife] a taste of her own medicine.” Rather, the words “so close” was the first thing that came to mind because he had heard the phrase “so many times in so many different situations”.

“When she reacted with shock that I’d say such a thing with her I do admit that I doubled down because I’ve heard it literally hundreds of times,” he added.

One user actually provided some helpful advice for the couple, writing, “Ask her why it bothers her, since she says it to you all the time.”