Rugby star Ugo Monye: Boarding school shaped my career and my personality

Ahead of this year’s Rugby World Cup, Ugo Monye talks to Imy Brighty-Potts about Strictly, fatherhood and watching sports with his young daughters.

Former rugby player Ugo Monye knows how tough the World Cup and Strictly will be (Ian West/PA) (PA Wire)

The Rugby World Cup and new series of Strictly Come Dancing are both set to kick off soon – and one man who knows just how hard both of them are is Ugo Monye.

“Strictly is gruelling,” says the former rugby pro-turned-pundit, who played with Harlequins and England before taking part in Strictly in 2021.

“At times you’re training for 12 hours a day. So, you could go for a period of three or four days where all you do is wake up, go to the studio, go to sleep, wake up, go to the studio, go to bed.”

He recalls recently telling his friend, comedian Eddie Kadi, all about this, the night before he was announced as a contestant for this year’s show. And because of the demanding schedule, taking care of yourself becomes a top priority.

“You try and eat right, try and get as much sleep as possible. The biggest initial challenge everyone will find is their feet, because they wouldn’t have been used to dancing for 11 hours a day,” adds Monye, 40, who was partnered with Oti Mabuse on the show.

Trading his rugby boots for ballroom shoes came with some challenges, but he still completed five weeks on the show (Monye and Mabuse finished in 11th place that year).

“I remember when I did the quickstep, I had my smart watch on, which showed that I danced over 45km in five days,” he recalls. “I remember the first week or two, just the nervousness of rolling out of bed and putting my feet on the carpet because you didn’t know how they would feel.”

Having played such a physically demanding sport for 13 years at pro level, Monye was not in bad shape. But Strictly was another “type of pressure”.

“When I retired in 2015, I never thought that I’d be dancing, dressed in a low cut, electric pink, short sleeve shirt doing the samba. It’s something I’m actually really proud of,” he adds happily.

Like lots of people, Monye, who has two daughters – Phoenix Lilly, six, and Ruby, three, with his ex-wife Lucy – recalls how his approach to self-care has evolved over the years.

“Going back to the early 2000s, I was living the dream, right? I was 18 and I got a professional contract playing for my boyhood club, and within a year I travelled the world playing for England,” he says. “I was all, what mental health? I’m flying, right?”

Things shifted with time, however, and he began to see the importance of having a proactive approach to maintaining his mental wellbeing.

“I remember speaking to a friend, who is really interested in mental health, [about how] people often seek [mental health support] after something bad or traumatic has happened to a point where they actually need it. But it’s more like how you have to go and get an MOT on your car and service it,” he explains.

“I think towards the end of my career, I became more aware of it. I have now definitely paid more attention to it and I absolutely love psychology, so I love understanding how the mind works.”

Since his retirement, Monye – who has teamed up with Samsung ahead of the World Cup, which starts on September 8 – he has been busy being a dad, alongside jumping into a vibrant broadcast career.

Having daughters made him reflect on his own upbringing too – going from being raised by a single mother on a London council estate, to a rural boarding school in Hampshire where he had his education funded (Monye secured a sports scholarship when he was 13).

He attributes a lot of his success to his schooling.

“I think the person I am now was born at age 13.  Everything I was surrounded by was slightly different in that world. It was where I first was introduced to rugby, which then has quite clearly gone on to shape my career, the pathway that I have now, but also my personality.

“I think I rely upon myself, I back myself. I had to depend on myself and try and get things done,” he reflects. “I think my personality traits, good and bad, were all developed at boarding school.”

Having spent large chunks of his childhood away from family, how does he manage his own work-life balance as a parent now?

“How do you manage your work-life balance? Well, you stand in the middle of the park taking a phone call,” he jokes (Monye is in the playground with his girls while we talk).

“The time I have with them is absolute quality. For the World Cup, I’m going out for like three or four stints. I’d love them to be able to come out, but with school, it is a bit more difficult.

“But I have said to Phoenix already that next year is the Olympics, and she loves gymnastics, so she’s going to be getting on the Eurostar with me. She is watching a lot of clips of Simone Biles at the moment on YouTube and she’s obsessed.”

He wants to see his daughters inspired by brilliant women.

“I love to watch sports with my daughters,” says Monye. “And we loved watching the Women’s World Cup. I had to get them to come and watch incredible women just do it.”

Ugo Monye has teamed up with Samsung to help the nation see the new laws clearly and watch the match in supersize, thanks to the Samsung 98” Q80C TV (samsung.com/uk/big-screen-tv).