Woman, 50, to become a surrogate mother for same-sex couple
Dawn Allen was unsure if she could do it again until she met Nicky and Dylan
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Your support makes all the difference.A woman is going to be a surrogate mother for the fourth time at the age of 50, even though the birth could be the ‘hardest yet’.
Dawn Allen, a surrogate applications and agreement co-ordinator for Surrogacy UK, who lives in Derbyshire with her husband, Matthew Allen, 51, an archivist’s assistant, and has two of her own children, Alex, 17, and Sam, 27, offered to become a surrogate for the first time at the age of 36 after being inspired by a documentary over 20 years ago.
Dawn has had three surrogate babies and three unsuccessful attempts, one of which ended in miscarriage, but all of her births have been “moments that will stick with (her) forever”.
She was unsure if she was going to do it again until she met a friendly couple, Nicky Spence, 39, an operatic tenor and broadcaster, and Dylan Perez, 33, a classical pianist, through Surrogacy UK.
Dawn makes sure her husband is on board with the surrogacies and bonds with the intended parents, as he is “as much a part of this as (she is)”, and has to “support” her through the pregnancy.
She is not too worried about her age affecting her likelihood of becoming pregnant and has said she “wouldn’t have offered if I didn’t feel physically able” but is aware that the birth could be the hardest yet.
“I know it’s going to be hard because I’m older now, but, at the end of the day, nine months out of my life is nothing when you’ve got a chance to give parents a lifetime of happiness,” Dawn said.
Dawn was first drawn to becoming a surrogate more than 20 years ago, explaining: “I watched a documentary in the late 90s all about surrogacy and I thought, one day I’m going (to) do that.
“I met Matthew, my husband, 23 years ago, and about a month into dating I said, ‘Oh, by the way, one day I’m going to be a surrogate’ – he looked at me like it was completely crazy.”
Before Dawn became a surrogate, she had two sons of her own.
She said: “About 18 months after having Alex, I brought the subject up about surrogacy, and we looked into it.”
In 2008, Dawn joined Surrogacy UK, the UK’s leading not-for-profit surrogacy organisation, and soon began to use their online platform for surrogates and intended parents, as well as going to face-to-face socials, to see if she could find a couple she connected with.
Dawn explained: “It’s just about meeting up with people and finding people that you connect with and have things in common with.
“You then have a getting-to-know phase, where you hang out with the intended parents for about three months, and then you can make the decision if you’d like to proceed.”
Dawn’s husband was very supportive of her decision, and she thinks it is important he connects with the intended parents too.
She said: “Matthew is my main support – he’s as much a part of this as I am.
“He’s the one that’s got to support me, as well as my children, so it’s important to me that they all get on with the people we decide to help.”
A year after signing up to Surrogacy UK, in 2009, Dawn had an unsuccessful surrogacy as the embryos were of poor quality, but in 2012 she had a surrogate baby for a same-sex couple, using her own egg.
An attempt to help a third couple in 2013 failed, but in 2015 she gave birth to a daughter for a same-sex couple – the same year, she began working for Surrogacy UK as a surrogate applications and agreement co-ordinator as she wanted to help other surrogates and intended parents.
In 2017 Dawn miscarried a surrogate baby, but that couple has since had two children with another surrogate, and in 2021 she had a surrogate baby for another same-sex couple.
Dawn explained how she has felt after giving birth: “I think, for me, it’s one of those moments that will stick with me forever.
“You’re seeing people that you’ve become really good friends with, become parents, and you’re there in the moment they get to look at their child for the first time and hold them for the first time,” she said.
“It was really, really emotional – there were lots of tears every time.”
Dawn never felt it difficult to give the baby to the intended parents, explaining: “It was very clear in my head that baby wasn’t mine – it was the intended parents’ pregnancy, it was their baby.
“I think you bond with your intended parents more than the baby.”
Now, aged 50, Dawn is hoping to become a surrogate again, after meeting same-sex couple Nicky Spence and Dylan Perez on Surrogacy UK’s platform in November 2022.
She explained: “I hadn’t made my mind up 100% if I was going to do it again, but I started chatting to Nicky and I asked my husband if he’d like to come along to a social online to meet them.
“They were both lovely and my husband thought they were really nice too, so I made them the offer to start the official getting-to-know period the next day.”
Nicky added: “We feel so lucky to have become friends with Dawn through Surrogacy UK and when she offered to help complete our family we couldn’t believe it.
“We feel in very safe hands as she’s the kindest and most experienced surrogate you could wish for. ”
Dawn did not have any doubts about her age affecting the likelihood of her getting pregnant.
“So luckily, we’re using the same clinic that I used in my last journey, so they know my medical history,” she said.
“Yes, I’m a lot older now, but after all the checks and tests they’ve done, they’re happy with me from a medical viewpoint.
“I wouldn’t have offered if I didn’t feel physically able.”
After doing some background digging on the future fathers, Dawn discovered that Nicky is an opera singer and broadcaster and his husband, Dylan, is a classical pianist.
Dawn’s last surrogate baby was Luca, who was also for someone in the public eye – Aled Haydn Jones, the head of BBC Radio 1, and his partner, Emile Doxey.
She said: “I have been teased about I only do celebrities now. But I had no idea that they were quite well known – I just knew Dylan played the piano and Nicky was a singer.
“Nicky has performed with Shirley Bassey and lots of other people.”
From November 2022 to February 2023, Dawn, her husband and the two intended parents have been getting to know each other.
Dawn said: “We hang out all the time, they come and stay at our house or we meet up for meals, we’ve even been to Berlin with them and ended up in a bierkeller.”
I think the pressure comes from, we want it as much as they do
In January 2023 they drew up an agreement regarding the pregnancy and the birth, and everyone was happy to proceed.
Now, embryos are being created, using the intended parents’ family member’s eggs, and Dawn is hoping to get pregnant in the next few months.
Dawn said: “I’m feeling really positive, there’s no pressure from them at all, but I do sometimes put a bit of pressure on myself because I really want to give them a baby.
“I think the pressure comes from, we want it as much as they do.”
Dawn thinks it is unlikely that she will have another surrogacy, saying: “I think this has probably got to be it with my age.
“I think the only way I could do it was if we got pregnant really quickly this time around, and Nicky and Dylan wanted the baby to have a sibling more or less straight away.”