Rita Moreno says she combats loneliness by making friends at grocery store
‘Would you like to have lunch with me?’ Moreno recalls asking stranger at supermarket
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Your support makes all the difference.Rita Moreno has revealed the unique way she made friends after finding herself suffering from loneliness.
Ahead of her 92nd birthday on 11 December, the West Side Story star opened up about her struggles with loneliness after she moved into a new home. In an interview with People published 28 November, Moreno recalled feeling “so sad” after moving from her house in California’s Berkeley Hills area to a new condominium.
The Broadway alum admitted she felt so lonely that it was even “affecting [her] appetite”. It wasn’t until her daughter, jewellerly designer Fernanda Luisa Gordon, noticed something was wrong that Moreno decided to combat her loneliness. “I really didn’t understand what was happening,” she told the outlet. “I remember thinking: ‘I can’t go on like this.’ I’m in the most beautiful apartment in the world as far as I’m concerned, and this is happening. Why is this happening?”
The 80 For Brady star said she used her years of “therapy” and “psychotherapy” to help her self-reflect, ultimately deciding that it was her recent move away from friends and family that was making her unhappy. Moreno, who has one daughter and two grandsons, explained that her new home made it difficult for her friends and family to visit.
“So when we make plans to see each other, we have to make plans, they can’t just kind of drop by,” she said. “I was really lonely.” Moreno admitted that she was “fascinated” when it dawned on her that she didn’t actually know how to make friends because she “never had to seek people’s company”.
“You know why? Because people have always come to me,” she added.
When the Family Switch star finally decided to “meet some people” on her own, she went to the supermarket to do some shopping and met a “lovely” woman who she had previously seen at the store. “She had this big smile on her face and she recognised me, obviously, and we started to talk,” Moreno recalled. “I said to her: ‘Would you like to have lunch with me?’”
According to Moreno, the woman was shocked when the Hollywood icon asked to have lunch with her but she ended up accepting the invite. “She sat down and she said: ‘Do you always pick people up like this in the market?’” Moreno recounted. “I told her the truth. I said: ‘No, but you always have struck me as such a lovely person. Since I’m new here and I don’t know anybody, I thought I’d take a dip.’”
Since then, the woman has become one of many people that Moreno befriended, including those from her apartment building. “I’m so lucky,” she added.
The Puerto Rican actor landed her breakout role of Anita in the 1961 movie musical adaptation of Leonard Bernstein and Stephen Sondheim’s original Broadway musical, West Side Story. She later won the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress for the role. Moreno also starred as a newly-created character, Valentina, in director Steven Spielberg’s version of West Side Story. In 1965, she married cardiologist Leonard Gordon, who later became her manager. They were married for 45 years, welcoming daughter Fernanda, before his death in 2010.
In May, United States surgeon general Dr Vivek Murthy declared loneliness a public health epidemic, posing health risks as deadly as smoking a dozen cigarettes daily. In a report, Murthy stated that nearly half of US adults say they’ve experienced loneliness. The report also stated that loneliness can increase the risk of premature death by nearly 30 per cent, posing a greater risk of stroke and heart disease, as well as increasing a person’s likelihood for experiencing depression, anxiety, and dementia.
The crisis was worsened due to the Covid-19 pandemic, as schools and workplaces shut down and people were required to quarantine and socially distance themselves. In 2020, Americans spent about 20 minutes a day in person with friends compared to 60 minutes daily just two decades earlier.
“We now know that loneliness is a common feeling that many people experience. It’s like hunger or thirst. It’s a feeling the body sends us when something we need for survival is missing,” Murthy told The Associated Press in an interview. “Millions of people in America are struggling in the shadows, and that’s not right. That’s why I issued this advisory to pull back the curtain on a struggle that too many people are experiencing.”
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