Couple refuse to lie to daughter about Father Christmas: ‘We don’t want to participate in global gaslighting’
Parents say the approach encourages creativity
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Your support makes all the difference.An American couple have shared their reasons for “refusing” to lie to their daughter about the existence of Father Christmas and the Tooth Fairy.
Matthew and Aurelian Bourdeaux, from Washington, said they take an “honest” approach to the fictional characters and “don’t want to participate in global gaslighting”.
The couple insisted they are not “taking away and magic, and instead asked their nine-year-old daughter Helena if she would like to play “make-believe” and pretend the characters are real.
“Parents don’t need to tell any of their kids Santa or the Tooth Fairy is real – why would I participate in this large scale global gaslighting?” Matthew said.
“Before adopting our child, we researched parenting and thought of the potential psychological impact lying could have.”
Matthew, a crafter, said he believes making children believe in fictional characters is “normalising” lying.
“We decided we would never deceive her – parents don’t need to tell any of their kids this is real. It has normalised group lying and deception, it doesn’t need to be a part of society.”
The parents allowed Helena to believe Father Christmas was real until she turned three and started asking questions about the Christmas icon.
They explained Father Christmas wasn’t real but said she could “pretend” he was if she wanted to.
“It wasn’t a sit-down conversation, she started to ask questions and have an awareness of him,” Matthew said.
The parents believe that by encouraging their child to play make-believe, they are encouraging Helena to use her own imagination and creativity.
“She asked who he was and it’s at this point most parents say he’s real – we decided not to. From my perspective, we’re having a blast pretending.
“The magic never ends and pretend never ends - we decorate the house with homemade decorations, make cookies, exchange presents, get up super early and spend quality time together as a family.”
When it comes to the tradition of the Tooth Fairy, Helena is aware that it is her parents placing money under her pillow. The couple insist that she still finds it “just as exciting”.
“Honesty is the most important component of parenting, and the truth is the way you should go,” Mathew added.
Additional reporting by SWNS
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