‘People assume I have abandoned my kids’: Olivia Wilde claps back at mum-shaming critics

‘Do you know the lengths that I go to to protect my kids from being seen by you?’ the director says

Olivia Wilde has responded to critics who claim she has “abandoned” her two children.

On Thursday, the Don’t Worry Darling director posed for Elle’s November 2022 cover story, in which she opened up about motherhood in the spotlight. Wilde, who shares eight-year-old son Otis and six-year-old daughter Daisy with ex Jason Sudeikis, acknowledged that people assume the worst when she’s not photographed with her children.

“I share custody of my kids with my ex,” she told the outlet. “If I’m photographed not with my kids, people assume I have abandoned them, like my kids are just somewhere in a hot car without me. The suggestion is that I have abandoned my role as a mother.”

However, according to Wilde, the reason people don’t see the single mom with her children is because she prefers to keep them out of the public eye. “You know why you don’t see me with my kids? Because I don’t let them get photographed. Do you know the lengths that I go to to protect my kids from being seen by you?” she said.

The 38-year-old actor, who is currently in a relationship with co-star Harry Styles, has previously spoken out against the shaming assumptions people have made, and the double standards she faces as a single mother. “When people see me not with my kids, it’s always ‘How dare she,’” Wilde told Variety in August. “I’ve never seen anyone say that about a guy. And if he is with his kid, he’s a f**king hero.”

The Bones alum went on to call Otis and Daisy her “world” and her “best friends”, and revealed that she had recently taken time off work to be more present with her children. “It became clear to me that this year was a time for me to be a stay-at-home mom,” Wilde said. “It was not the year for me to be on a set, which is totally all-encompassing. It was time for me to pause and devote myself to the kids when I have them.”

Wilde and Sudeikis, who got engaged in 2013, called off their relationship in November 2020. In April, the former couple’s custody battle took a turn when Wilde was served custody papers by her ex-fiancé while on stage at CinemaCon. At the time, Sudeikis said he had no prior knowledge that she was going to be served during her presentation, saying he was “deeply upset” by the events and feels “great distress at the manner in which service was made”.

While speaking to Variety, Wilde said it was “deeply painful” that the two children she shares with Sudeikis were involved in a public matter that should have been kept private. “The only people who suffered were my kids, because they’ll have to see that, and they shouldn’t ever have to know that happened,” she explained. “For me, it was appalling, but the victims were an eight and five-year-old, and that’s really sad.”

“I chose to become an actress,” she added. “I willingly walked into the spotlight. But it’s not something my children have asked for. And when my kids are dragged into it, it’s deeply painful.”

Now, the former couple have needed to “reshape” their family as they continue to co-parent their two children from Los Angeles, New York, and London – where Sudeikis films his show, Ted Lasso. During an appearance on The Kelly Clarkson Show in September, Wilde described co-parenting with Sudeikis as “tricky”; although, she said she is grateful that it’s allowed “deep conversations” with her children about emotions, family, and love.

“My priority is them,” she told Clarkson. “That’s what it is. It’s as long as they’re happy and they’re healthy then, my ex and I, we agree on that. They are everything to us.”

In August, Sudeikis’s custody claim against Wilde was dismissed when a judge denied the actor’s petition for their children to live with him in New York, declaring that their home state is California.