Boomers are grieving not becoming grandparents – but child-free Millennials have little sympathy

According to younger Americans, the ‘unspoken’ grief their parents feel about not having grandchildren isn’t entirely unspoken

Amid falling birth rates and growing numbers of U.S. adults opting to remain child-free, boomer and Generation X grandparents are mourning the prospect of ever becoming grandparents. However, according to millennials themselves, the reasons for not having children far outweigh the disappointment their parents may feel.

The uproar began this week after the New York Times published an interview with yearning would-be grandparents, titled “The Unspoken Grief of Never Becoming a Grandparent.” The article stated that older Americans “may experience a deep sense of longing and loss when their children opt out of parenthood.”

Indeed, there is an increasing number of Americans who have decided not to have children. A 2021 survey from the Pew Research Center found that 44 percent of adults said it is “not too or not at all likely” that they will have children someday. Meanwhile, a little more than half of adults 50 and older had at least one grandchild in 2021, down from nearly 60 percent in 2014.

As the New York Times article went viral on X/Twitter, it prompted many younger adults to share their reasons for not having children.

“Bro we can’t afford houses, much less entire new humans,” one user replied.

“Maybe if Boomers and elder Gen X had focused on voting for policies that benefited their children rather than themselves, they could have had grandchildren,” claimed someone else. “They pulled up the ladder behind them and expected us to keep climbing.”

Another person commented: “Boomers sitting in their paid off four-bedroom homes in the suburbs while their kids drown in debt and a skyrocketed cost of living watching winter rapidly disappear: ‘But what about what WE want.’”

High housing prices and rising childcare costs are influencing U.S. adults to remain child-free (Getty Images)

Some younger Americans simply took issue with the idea that their parents’ complaints about not having children could go “unspoken,” considering it’s a major topic of conversation for some families at the dinner table.

“‘Unspoken’ is crazy considering every older person I’ve ever voiced my decision to not have children to gets visibly mad at me,” one woman said.

“Ask any woman over 25 if it’s unspoken,” another echoed.

“Hey if it’s so unspoken why am I constantly hearing about it,” a third user wrote.

From rising housing prices to the cost of child care, the financial impact of raising a child in the U.S. has influenced younger adults to remain child-free. In 2020, average Americans paid $1,202 per month in homeownership costs – including taxes, homeowners insurance, maintenance, and utility bills. Just four years later, that number has jumped a staggering 26 percent, up to $1,510 monthly.

According to the Federal Housing Finance Agency (FHFA), house prices across the U.S. rose by an average of 6.6 percent in one year. In fact, the median home price in the U.S. is $412,300 – that’s 40 percent higher than some millennials’ parents paid for their homes in the 1990s.

When it comes to child care, such as hiring a nanny or paying for daycare, parents are spending almost a quarter of their household income on child care, per Care.com’s 2024 Cost of Care Report.

Discussions surrounding the housing crisis and declining birth rates were heightened leading up to the 2024 U.S. presidential election. Throughout her campaign, Vice President Kamala Harris proposed a child tax credit of $6,000 for families with newborn children in the first year of their life.

The Harris-Walz campaign also promised up to $25,000 in assistance with down payments for first-time homebuyers who have paid their rent on time for two years, in order to create “more generous support for first-generation homeowners.”

As for president-elect Donald Trump, he’s suggested using federal land to address the housing shortage. The Republican National Committee platform states that they plan on promoting “homeownership” by using tax incentives and helping first-time buyers.

The platform also plans to cut “unnecessary regulations” that raise the price of housing and to “reduce mortgage rates by slashing inflation.”