Men's Health: The joy of pecs

When 'Men's Health' magazine launched the search for its first British cover model, hopefuls came in droves - and in all shapes and sizes. Charlotte Cripps met the men with a dream

The magazine Men's Health has launched a nationwide search for their first-ever British cover star. A "home-grown hunk", as the magazine puts it. Men's Health, launched in 1988, sells nearly two million copies worldwide. The UK edition sells more than 220,000 copies per month – more than GQ, Esquire and Arena put together. Readers ask questions about how they can "bulk up my neck", "shift flabby breasts" or "pack on muscle fast". For anyone other than keep-fit blokes, it's utterly repetitive. There must be a lot of wannabe jocks out there.

But the surprising thing is that no British man has ever made it onto the cover – because no one has met the tough criteria (imposed by the US publisher) of "face, body and attitude". The magazine has relied on the American beefcake look, and thinks British men are "beer-bellied, pasty weeds", according to the UK editor, Simon Geller. Now the British team wants to prove a point to the publisher and find someone who doesn't look like Rhys Ifans in Notting Hill. More than 4,500 hopefuls sent in photographs and videos with their tops off explaining why they have what it takes to be the next Men's Health cover star.

Staff at the magazine heroically watched hours of video footage. "One guy skipping for three minutes; another who had pinned up a white sheet in his lounge and was wearing a pair of shorts laughed for nearly seven minutes; there was a girlfriend shouting at her boyfriend to take his top off," says the deputy editor, Steve King. "We narrowed it down – it's quite a ruthless process – to 180."

Regional auditions are taking place and the winner, to be announced on 19 August, will also be the new face of Wrigley's Orbit Ice White chewing gum – although, as King admits: "It's a chance to be on the cover of their favourite magazine rather than be catapulted into stardom."

So what are the judges looking for? "We want an average-looking guy rather than a chiselled-jaw, super-cheek-boned model," says the art director, Alex Bruer. "More a friend than an Adonis." They must be in some sort of physical shape, surely? "Our starting point is they must have a good, well-defined six-pack – achievable for most men. They can't have rotten teeth and a broken nose, but it doesn't matter how tall they are; they will only be 12in high on the front cover. It's about personality, too," he says.

By 10am at this regional heat in Birmingham's Metropole Hotel, it's not hard to spot the contestants walking through the hotel lobby. They all have tight T-shirts on, with sleeves positioned so that the full chunk of bicep is visible, and sunglasses on their heads. Many have overdone it on the sunbed, and possibly with the free weights at the gym. In one room, 40 of them are filling out application forms. A few look like male strippers and hardcore beefcake, quite a few definitely don't. There are a lot of envious glances at other contestants' arm definition – rather in the manner that one woman might covet another's Jimmy Choo shoes.

Richard Steadman Elsey, 35, is a coal miner from West Yorkshire. He wears tiny blue shorts. "It's not every day you get the opportunity to become a cover model," he says. "I am facing redundancy. They're about to close my pit. This may be a new chapter in my life. I've never done modelling before, but I look at Men's Health cover models and think, 'I could do that job,' and why not? I'm above-average-looking and get a buzz out of keeping fit. I want to prove to myself and all these doubting Thomases back home who sit watching TV and who would prefer drinking a four-pack to having a six-pack that I can do it. I'm confident. I've already got this far."

Sporting 18in biceps and looking like a pumped-up Elvis Presley is Marc Andrews, 37, a personal trainer from Telford. "I was that skinny, awkward, tall, gangly kid who would never get picked for teams at school," he says. "I wanted to change that. It's like a hang-up. I want to be on the front cover, because I still see myself as that skinny kid. I don't see myself as a body builder. It's an ongoing battle. I'm striving always to get bigger. It's sort of anorexia in reverse. I'm obsessed with not being skinny."

For some, the idea that they might achieve fame and a ritzy lifestyle is more of a draw than pride in their body. Peter Griffin, 35, from Devon, is a policeman with the drugs squad. "When I first entered the competition, I didn't expect to get a call back," he says. "It was very difficult for my wife. We've been married 13 years. She was worried I'd go off into a world of supermodels and not want family life any more. I do like the idea of being in the limelight. It's like a little star in the sky, and this competition brings it within my reach."

Graham Peacock, 22, lives in Leicester and works for a lift company. "I've been going to the gym six times a week preparing myself for today," he says. "I don't have a voice like those people on Pop Idol – my body is my weapon. If I could make a career out of being a cover star it would be great."

The contestants are called in one by one. They sit in front of the panel in a chair positioned just far away enough to be intimidating. "Where do you see yourself in five years?" Steve King asks the coal miner, Richard. "Modelling cufflinks for the Grattan catalogue, or doing chewing-gum adverts for Orbit," he says confidently, if bafflingly. Then each contestant is told to stand in front of a white board with Men's Health written on it in red. "Take your top off," Amy, the researcher for Men's Health, says flirtatiously. This part of the audition is rather humiliating, particularly when a boxing trainer takes off his top to reveal distinctly flabby pecs. The miner, however, hurls his top across the floor, flexes his muscles and grins at the camera. "A cracking bloke," one of the judges says. "Pity we can't take his personality and put it on someone else's body."

Then there is Peter Farrar, 32, a model from Stockport with blond highlights, who is body perfect. He almost glistens. "I was on Survivor, the first series," he tells the panel, whose faces suddenly light up ("The first really good-looking face and body," they agree). "I want to be on the cover of Men's Health because it is proof I've achieved success. It is the trophy in my chosen field."

The audition is over. The judges are moving on to Brighton for the last regional heat. The contestants leave with a lucky bag containing a Men's Health magazine, a miniature Head & Shoulders shampoo, Noxema shaving foam and a Hugo Boss eau de toilette. And perhaps with their dreams intact.

Charlotte O'Sullivan's column returns next week