From The Therapist's Couch
Stop the world and let me off
Your support helps us to tell the story
From reproductive rights to climate change to Big Tech, The Independent is on the ground when the story is developing. Whether it's investigating the financials of Elon Musk's pro-Trump PAC or producing our latest documentary, 'The A Word', which shines a light on the American women fighting for reproductive rights, we know how important it is to parse out the facts from the messaging.
At such a critical moment in US history, we need reporters on the ground. Your donation allows us to keep sending journalists to speak to both sides of the story.
The Independent is trusted by Americans across the entire political spectrum. And unlike many other quality news outlets, we choose not to lock Americans out of our reporting and analysis with paywalls. We believe quality journalism should be available to everyone, paid for by those who can afford it.
Your support makes all the difference.We've been working together for a few weeks, and the anxiety overload has, it seems, myriad causes. Most obviously, he's lived on coffee and in workaholic overdrive for too many years.
It's fascinating, in therapy, how different people's stories constellate different frames of reference: Freud, Bion, Winnicott, Klein, Jung. Until now, no particular body of ideas has surfaced in this case.
But today, my thoughts return to his opening question: "What is the 'matter'?" Overwhelmed by distressing symptoms, he has lost his moorings, and is desperately trying to argue things back into some kind of control. But in such conditions, it just isn't possible to impose mind over matter. Mind over matter! So that is it. That is the matter. There isn't enough matter. And this takes me directly to Jung.
Jung's work is full of references to "matter". For him, "matter" is the instinctive nature within us all that earths us. In some of his texts, matter is mater, the mother-earth symbol. In a world that overvalues the intellect, this ground of our being is easily neglected. Without any still point in our ever-turning worlds, we become unhinged from what matters and at war with ourselves.
My patient describes his dreams. In them, he is always there and everywhere, but never here. Always in flight, on the run. A couple of times, he falls from aircraft to earth. As Jung said, the unconscious is always complementing and redressing our conscious attitude. "Earth yourself," the dreams seem to be saying. "Go to ground. Stop the manic flight."
At first, my patient is having none of this. "So you want me to put my life on hold and earth myself by wallowing in mud?" he sarcastically queried. "It's your psyche, not me, that seems to want it," I reply.
Then, one day, I got a phone call telling me that my patient had fallen while running for a train and broken his ankle. For several weeks he was forced to go to ground. I couldn't help but smile. He called me at the times we usually met, and in this twist of fate, I listened as he spoke from his newly grounded space.
After venting fury on himself, he slowly adapted. He had time to mull over, digest. His dreams were full of cellars, caves, floods. A new integration of his unlived "shadow" side was occurring in the unconscious. A month later, he was again able to make his way to sessions. I was struck by how everything about him had slowed down. Being grounded had, it seemed, enabled him to connect with some abandoned cornerstone of himself. The accident had precipitously speeded up the process of integration.
We carried on working, and there was rarely the sense of him spiralling off into flight. Instead, there was a sense of some newly found anchorage in him he could trust. Spirit and matter, Jung said, are two sides of the same coin. When we can really live this integration, we'll live more fully and have a greater capacity for love. Surely that is what matters.
Elizabeth Meakins is a psychoanalytic psychotherapist in private practice. None of the above details refers to specific individual people. Elizabeth.meakins@independent.co.uk
Join our commenting forum
Join thought-provoking conversations, follow other Independent readers and see their replies
Comments