Gender stereotyping, arguing and being overly critical: Eight of the most common parenting mistakes

Hundreds of Reddit users answered the question: "What are the most common parenting mistakes?"

“What are the most common parenting mistakes?” (MANDEL NGAN/AFP/Getty Images)

Often dubbed life’s most important job, parenthood is not an easy task and with no definite rule book it can sometimes be hard for people to judge if their parenting techniques are for the best.

Answering the question, “What are the most common parenting mistakes?” hundreds of people have taken to the online forum Reddit to reveal regrets about their own parenting or mistakes they feel others have made.

1) Sheltering children

One parent said, children “deserve freedom and to figure things out on their own if they choose”. While you shouldn’t just “send them wild on the streets,” they stress, “the earlier someone can adapt to the world, the better.”

2) Being too helpful with homework

Speaking of their own regret, one user revealed their remorse over being too eager to help their children with homework: “I ended up with a kid who was too dependent on me and unable to complete any work by themselves.”

Others agreed saying: “I made this mistake too! It completely backfired on me because they couldn’t think for themselves."

One parent said they had helped their child too much with homework Getty (Jure Makovec/AFP/Getty Images)

3) Making the work “no” negotiable

The word “no” should not be arbitrary, argued one Reddit user. “When you say ‘no’ – mean it”.

Parents should avoid the world "no" altogether, another user claimed. Instead they should ask children to convince them why something they want to do is a good idea.

“It gives your kids a chance to try to produce a logical argument, they feel like they have input in their lives, and they are more likely to come to you instead of go behind your back,” they said.

4) Gender stereotyping

One commenter argued stereotyping children by their gender was a parenting no-no.

“My kid cannot do ballet because they are a boy, or cannot football because they are girl... They are people, let them be people. Let them know that you support them in whatever they do.”

5) Being overly critical and demanding

User eatsleeplaugh said: “Of course you want what is best for your child and your son/daughter to do their best, but relentlessly pointing out how they could have done better can be a damaging message for them to internalize."

A fellow user agreed saying, in being overly critical: “You don't build a resilient, tough go-getter. You build a desperate pleaser who does not dare to do anything.”

One commenter warned against gender stereotyping Getty (Ryan Pierse/Getty Images)

6) Parents who live their lives vicariously through their children

“When I was younger, my dad was constantly trying to get me into engineering, robotics, computers, etc. and was constantly badgering me about getting a job that made a lot of money,” recalled one Reddit commenter.

“It even got to the point where I was convinced it was what I had to do. Later on I realized, hey wait, why am I trying to become a programmer when I love art and design, but can't stand engineering? He's better about it now, but good god it was terrible.”

7) Arguing

One user said a huge parenting mistake was getting involved in “screaming matches” with a child.

“Kids throw tantrums. If you respond in kind, it just shows them it is acceptable behaviour, regardless of what they ‘lose’ in the progress of the fight.”

8) Not listening to your children when they talk

Having a “lack of dialogue” with your child and “not listening to what they have to say” makes a parent “unapproachable” said one user.