Woman shares co-worker’s ‘infuriating’ response to her decision to not have children

‘Trust that I know myself, alright?’ she says

A woman has shared her male colleague’s “infuriating” response when she informed him of her decision to be childfree.

Earlier this week, TikTok user @honeyandmud went viral when she recounted the conversation she had with her male coworker, who seemingly couldn’t wrap his head around her choice to not have children.

“I was chatting with a guy at work today and he asked me if I have any kids, to which I responded with: ‘Oh no, I’m not gonna have children,’” she began the TikTok, which has since been viewed more than 230,000 times.

Her coworker laughed off her response and replied: “You say that now, but never say never,” according to the TikToker.

When she further stressed that she knew “for a fact” that she was never going to have children, she said her colleague seemed surprised by her comment, and asked why she didn’t want kids.

“I’ve known since I was a child that I don’t want to have kids,” she explained. “I’m 35 years old now and that hasn’t changed and I really don’t see that changing in the future, so yeah, I can confidently say I don’t want kids and I’m never going to have them.”

However, her justification didn’t seem to please the male colleague. “Even after that, he still replies with: ‘Well, you never know,’” she said.

In the viral video, the woman went on to explain why her frustrating interaction with her coworker was a “common theme” among people who choose to be childfree, or not to have children.

“Anytime somebody is choosing to be childfree, there are always people – usually parents – who are like: ‘You’ll regret that one day,’ like they know the person better than the person knows themselves,” she shared.

“Do you not think we know ourselves? Do you not think we understand this decision and have thought about this decision and have our reasons why we don’t want to be a parent or bring a child into this world?”

“Trust that I know myself, alright?” she added, along with the caption: “I am so happy you love being a parent, but I promise you that I would not. Trust that I can understand that about myself.”

The TikToker’s interaction with her male colleague struck a chord for many childfree people in the comments, who took the opportunity to share just some of the many judgemental comments they’ve received because of their decision to not have children.

“I chose to be childfree and at 44, STILL get the ‘You never know,’” one person revealed.

“I’ll be 40 in a few months and people still want to tell me never say never,” said someone else.

“They are still trying to convince me even after I voluntarily paid money to be permanently steralised,” a third user wrote, while another person said: “It’s the most infuriating conversation to have because they act like they know you better than you know you.”

“Voluntary childlessness” – also called being childfree – has grown in popularity among US adults in recent years. In November 2021, a survey from the Pew Research Center found that 44 per cent of adults said it is “not too or not at all likely” that they will have children someday, a seven per cent increase from 2018.

While there was no single reason why a number of Americans have lost interest in becoming a parent, some survey respondents cited financial burdens or the unsettling “state of the world” as reasons to remain child-free.

Earlier this year, childfree TikToker Jackie Dives was praised by viewers for showing “what a life without children can look like”.

“I knew in my heart and in my gut that I didn’t want to be a parent,” Dives said in her viral video last March. She added that it was difficult for her to imagine what her life could be without children because there weren’t examples of child-free women “in media or pop culture”.

“I had no idea what my life would look like if I didn’t go down the path that everyone expected me to go down,” Dives explained. “It felt really lonely and strange, and I had to go seek out other women who had also made that choice.”

Meanwhile, another TikToker sparked a conversation about the sexist double standards that childfree women face after she claimed that her OB-GYN refused to consider her for a tubal ligation to prevent pregnancy.

The Independent has contacted @honeyandmud for comment.