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Mother shares heartbreak after inviting whole school class to daughter’s birthday party

‘I’m not going to leave anyone out,’ TikToker says

Chelsea Ritschel
New York
Saturday 24 June 2023 13:16 BST
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Related: Mother ‘fuming’ after parent returns goody bag given out at daughter’s birthday party

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A mother has struck a chord with other parents after sharing the heartache she felt for her daughter when just two children RSVP’d yes to attend her birthday party.

Sadie Christgau, who goes by the username @saddiegou on TikTok, questioned whether other parents had faced similar situations in a video posted to the platform earlier this month, in which she revealed that she’d invited her daughter’s entire preschool class to her fifth birthday.

“Two kids RSVP’d to my little girl’s birthday party. I invited her whole entire class. Two RSVP’d. It’s in two hours,” Christgau said in the video, before revealing that she invited all of her Facebook friends with children after she “started panicking” no one would show up. “I started panicking. I started inviting all my Facebook friends with kids and I said: ‘Just show up, we have enough stuff for 25 kids.’”

“I don’t even know what to do,” an emotional Christgau added in the video, which saw her sitting in front of decorations she’d put up for her daughter’s party.

In the caption of the video, the TikToker asked viewers whether they’ve ever found themselves in the same situation. “Has anyone else had this happen to their kid?” she wrote.

The video, which has been viewed more than 3.1m times as of 22 June, has resonated with viewers, with many fellow parents revealing their own similar experiences.

“Same happened for my daughter’s birthday last year!! I invited the entire class, eight RSVP’d, four of the eight cancelled at the last minute and only two showed!!” one viewer revealed.

Another said: “We invited 35 kids to a joint birthday party for my son and daughter - even wrote on the invite to not bring gifts. Five rsvp’d and three showed up.”

Numerous other parents revealed that they’d stopped hosting birthday parties for their children after similar scenarios, with many instead encouraging Christgau to celebrate her children’s birthdays with “experiences”.

“This happened to my son when he was 12. We now only do birthday experiences. Pick somewhere you want to go instead. We all love it! It’s memories!” one person commented.

Another said: “That’s why we stopped throwing birthday parties and instead let our kids pick what we do for their birthday and they’re always so happy.”

“Yea, we stopped throwing parties. Instead I’ll take mine to go do something fun for the whole day and then have family over for cake and icecream!” someone else said.

Other parents revealed that they make it a point to attend each birthday party their child is invited to so that the situation does not happen.

“This is the exact reason we go to EVERY birthday party we are invited to. Breaks my heart,” one person wrote, while another viewer said: “It breaks my heart to read so many people saying that this has happened to their children too. My children go to every birthday they are invited to.”

In a follow-up video, the TikToker revealed that the party was ultimately a success after her friends showed up with their children.

“They came and they all had so much fun together,” she said.

Christgau then addressed some of the critical comments she’d received on her initial video, with the mother of six revealing that many people had asked her why she’d invited her daughter’s entire class, or why she’d prepared to host 25 children.

According to Christgau, she made sure she had enough for 25 children because she’s experienced people RSVP at the last second to birthday parties that she’s previously thrown for her children and would never want to have to turn a child away.

“I can’t do it, that’s not me,” she said.

As for why she invited the entire class, Christgau noted that her daughter is in preschool and is “still learning who her friend group is”.

“And also, other kids don’t understand when they don’t get invited to a birthday party when they’re five. Some of them are even four! So obviously I’m going to invite the whole entire class,” she continued.

The TikToker also addressed comments from viewers who’d suggested that the parents of classmates didn’t want to have to pay for birthday gifts, with Christgau revealing that her children bring handmade gifts when they attend birthday parties. “It’s really not about the gifts,” she explained, adding that it’s instead about “emotional development” and allowing children to “learn how to play with others”.

After acknowledging that views on birthday parties are divided among parents, Christgau reiterated that she would never host a party without inviting her child’s entire class.

“I’m not going to leave anyone out,” she said, before explaining that it may be different when her children are older, but that right now they are “still in the process of meeting each other and learning who each other are”.

While speaking to Today, Christgau said she’d also invited all of the children in her daughter’s classroom because the five year old is “very social and assumes everyone is her best friend”.

“I thought inviting the whole class would be easier than asking her to pick a few friends, and I didn’t want to leave anyone out,” she explained.

The Independent has contacted Christgau for comment.

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