Billie Eilish speaks about suffering from depression: ‘I was worried I was going to have a breakdown and shave my head’

‘I’ve worried that I was going to become the stereotype that everybody thinks every young artist becomes,’ singer says

Sabrina Barr
Tuesday 04 February 2020 10:13 GMT
Comments
Grammys 2020: Billie Eilish wins best song of the year Grammy with 'Bad guy'

Your support helps us to tell the story

From reproductive rights to climate change to Big Tech, The Independent is on the ground when the story is developing. Whether it's investigating the financials of Elon Musk's pro-Trump PAC or producing our latest documentary, 'The A Word', which shines a light on the American women fighting for reproductive rights, we know how important it is to parse out the facts from the messaging.

At such a critical moment in US history, we need reporters on the ground. Your donation allows us to keep sending journalists to speak to both sides of the story.

The Independent is trusted by Americans across the entire political spectrum. And unlike many other quality news outlets, we choose not to lock Americans out of our reporting and analysis with paywalls. We believe quality journalism should be available to everyone, paid for by those who can afford it.

Your support makes all the difference.

Billie Eilish has spoken about how suffering from depression affected her throughout her adolescence, saying that at one point she was worried she was “going to have a breakdown”.

In a new interview with American Vogue, Eilish opened up about the body insecurities she experienced during her early teenage years.

The multi-Grammy Award-winning artist explained that while there were several factors that she believes contributed towards her developing depression, her body image had a particularly overbearing impact.

“I just hated my body. I would have done anything to be in a different one,” the 18-year-old said.

“I really wanted to be a model, really bad, and I was chubby and short. I developed really early. I had boobs at nine. I got my period at 11. So my body was going faster than my brain.”

Eilish outlined how she reached a particularly low point when she considered taking her own life, telling Gayle King in a recent interview that she “didn’t think [she] would make it to 17”.

However, she said her outlook began to change by June last year.

“When people ask me what I’d say to somebody looking for advice on mental health, the only thing I can say is patience,” the musician said.

“I had patience with myself. I didn’t take that last step. I waited. Things fade.”

As she reached new levels of fame over the past few years, Eilish envisaged herself becoming a “stereotype” of a young artist, referencing the moment when Britney Spears famously shaved her head in 2007.

“As a fan growing up, I was always like, ‘What the f*** is wrong with them? All the scandals. The Britney moment. You grow up thinking they’re pretty and they’re skinny; why would they f*** it up,” she stated.

“But the bigger I get, the more I’m like, ‘Oh, my God, of course they had to do that.'

“In my dark place I’ve worried that I was going to become the stereotype that everybody thinks every young artist becomes, because how can they not?”

Eilish recalled experiencing her “lowest point” while on tour in Europe last year, saying: “I was worried I was going to have a breakdown and shave my head.”

During her Vogue interview, Eilish also spoke about her friendship with Drake, which sparked controversy in November last year when it was reported that the 33-year-old rapper texts her.

“The internet is such a stupid-a** mess right now,” Eilish said in response to the situation.

“Everybody’s so sensitive. A grown man can’t be a fan of an artist? There are so many people that the internet should be more worried about.

“Like, you’re really going to say that Drake is creepy because he’s a fan of mine, and then you’re going to go vote for Trump? What the f*** is that s***?”

Join our commenting forum

Join thought-provoking conversations, follow other Independent readers and see their replies

Comments

Thank you for registering

Please refresh the page or navigate to another page on the site to be automatically logged inPlease refresh your browser to be logged in