Grandparent questions whether they are wrong to require payment for babysitting grandson

‘I can not imagine charging my children to watch my grandchildren,’ one person wrote

Grandparent sparks outrage after demanding compensation for babysitting grandchild (Getty Images)

A grandparent has sparked a debate after questioning whether they are wrong for wanting to be paid for babysitting their one-year-old grandson.

The grandparent posed the question on Reddit’s AITA [Am I The A**hole] subreddit, where they explained that their 29-year-old daughter asked them to watch her son while she returns to work.

In the post, the [original poster], who goes by the username @iri_baker67, explained that their daughter will be working seven to eight hours a day, five days a week, and asked if they could babysit their grandchild for two to three of those days.

According to the grandparent, they would be open to babysitting as long as they were compensated by their daughter for their time, however, they took issue with the situation after they claimed they were “lowballed” by their daughter over the pay.

“Of course I am open to spending time with my grandson, but I explained to her that I would like a payment of $12/hour. She understood my need for payment but then lowballed me by requesting $10/hour because she claims that she cannot afford it even with her $22/hour job,” the grandparent wrote, after initially writing that they’d requested $15 an hour. “I’m not a daycare, I have my own life, I work for myself and I think she should understand that I’d be giving up my time when I work from home, and if I’m going to be giving up that time then I need money to replace that time I’m giving up from my job.”

The poster, who noted that their daughter would be providing food, also claimed that, while they are working from home, they “cannot simply work and watch her child at the same time”.

As for the other days, the grandparent explained that the child would be watched by his other grandparents, before concluding the post: “I love my grandson, but as I stated above, I’m not a daycare.”

The post, which was upvoted nearly 800 times, prompted a range of critical comments, with many accusing the grandparent of being wrong in the situation.

According to one person, the issue is not that the grandparent wants to be paid, it’s that they feel entitled to such a substantial amount of their daughter’s paycheck.

“Just say you don’t want to babysit. You’re asking for over two-thirds of the money she’s making pre-tax. Obviously she can’t afford that,” they wrote. “To clarify, you’re not TA [the a**hole] for asking for compensation, you’re TA because it’s clear you don’t actually want to do this and instead of outright saying so you’re instead demanding an outrageous (for what your daughter earns) amount.”

Another person agreed that the grandparent was in the wrong due to their insistence that their daughter pay so much for the care, when the new mother could have paid almost the same amount for an actual daycare.

They wrote: “YTA. Not for asking to be paid. After all, 24 hours a week is basically a part time job on top of your actual job. You should get paid. No. You’re TA for trying to screw your daughter out of two-thirds of her paycheck.

“Sure, she’ll probably have to pay that at a daycare centre - maybe even more. But a centre comes with qualifications and certifications. Why do you feel like you deserve a pay rate almost equal to professional daycare workers?”

Others questioned whether the OP had the qualifications expected of daycare employees, with someone else asking if the grandparent had “current CPR [certification], paediatric CPR, current first aid certification, [or] at least an associates degree in early childhood development”.

“In my area, these are the qualifications for paid childcare workers who earn that much who also manage more than one child at a time,” they noted.

While many of the responses were from users critical of the price the grandparent wanted to charge their daughter, others claimed that the situation had more to do with helping family members.

“I’m guessing you don’t actually like your kid or grandkid much,” one person wrote, while another said: “It’s your grandkid. Eventually the other grandparents will watch full-time and you are going to be the grandparent that only sees their grandchild on birthdays and holidays. If you are lucky.”

According to a Care.com survey, “more than half of families (57 per cent) spent over $10,000 on child care in 2020, and 59 per cent plan to spend more than $10,000 in 2021”.

The survey also found that, based on the results, childcare is not in the affordable range for most families in 2021.