Goodbye shrink, hello Life Coach
Who needs therapy when a Life Coach could sort you out in mere weeks, says Sarah Litvinoff
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Your support makes all the difference.There are around 3,000 "life coaches" in America, and numbers are rising. Even so, coaches in the States are still waiting for the day when people stop saying, "What is life-coaching?" and ask, "Who is your coach?"
In Britain, life-coaches have been used in business but not by individuals. This is curious, because it's so very us. The theory goes that you are not a basket-case just because life isn't going your way, but that you might need help moving in the right direction. We British are reluctant to tell all to a therapist, and think it far too grand to call in a business consultant when work is unsatisfying or problematic. Coaching is a happy medium, dealing with all areas of life, professional and personal - not just for people with problems but for those who want to do what they do even better. The beauty is that the coach could be in the next street or another continent, because it's all done on the phone, for half an hour a week.
A coach is a hybrid of business advisor, mentor, therapist, counsellor - and grandma, who thinks you're perfect and wants you to be happy. I've worked with counsellors for years, writing about their work. I admire it enormously, but what's exciting about coaching is the directness. A counsellor could have your problems and solutions taped in minutes, but months can pass as you are gentled through the process of discovering it for yourself. Coaches instead are straight-talking (but always positive), and will say what strikes them as the truth from the first session.
Coaching is achievement- focused. It feels adult, and fast - you are encouraged to take action from day one to become more profitable, healthier, deal with unfinished emotional business, have more fun, make better relationships, or whatever is holding you back. Coaches are trained to handle anything but they tend to specialise in certain professions or life situations.
It can be surprising. With my coach, Madeleine Homan, who specialises in creative types, I addressed my procrastination and writing blocks in our first talk. She didn't advise me about how to work harder, but asked me to take more time off - making one working day a week my "creative day" when I do whatever appeals. I tried out this and other suggestions, and just seven weeks later I work with more pleasure, less angst and increased effectiveness. I feel healthier, more energetic and more relaxed.
Madeleine is in New York (not so crazy, as a half-hour call costs under pounds 4), but there are coaches in Britain (most working for corporates), 50 training with Coach University, the American "virtual" course, carried out through teleconferencing and e-mail. Some come from caring professions, but felt it made sense to look at practical and financial issues as well as the emotional. Some began as business consultants but couldn't ignore personal issues. They have been coaching for years, usually face-to-face, but some are starting to offer a telephone service.
Sherrie Charlton is a UK coach. Vaughn Khelifa, who works in the pharmaceutical industry, was coached by her for 18 months." I thought it would be like training - being lectured to by an expert. Instead Sherrie helped me think differently: what am I looking for from this; is this the best approach for that person? At the end, I ask myself if I handled it the best way, or how I could improve on it. It has given me confidence and skills that have helped me progress in my job and develop even better relationships with my husband and daughter." Sherrie believes you have to look to your own development when helping others develop, and spends a quarter of her work hours on this. She is doing a Masters in personal and organisational development as well as a Coach University course.
The training is fascinating in itself (I've signed up). It is commonsense, with a spiritual slant, underpinned by a philosophy of personal excellence. Vocabulary can be puzzling (or a source of joy). One student supplied a word to a trainer who thanked her for "up-languaging me"; Madeleine thought I was confessing to promiscuity when I said I was a "slut", though I was only admitting to cobwebs and clutter. But the concepts are universal and living with integrity one that is key.
Bob Griffiths, a coach for 12 years, can make referrals, and represents Coach University in Britain: 0171 787 8599; coach@willow.demon. co.uk. Sherrie Charlton: 0181 868 0085. Coach University training: 0171 434 0858.
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