Millennial mother hilariously reports Gen Alpha trends from daughter’s school pickup

‘This is going to come for the throat of every millennial,’ mother says

A millennial mother has hilariously reported on Gen Alpha trends as told by her middle-schooler daughter.

The 35-year-old senior marketer and mother Faith Hitchon has gone viral multiple times for her “trend reports” from her daughter India, who’s a Gen Alpha middle school student. In these videos, Hitchon reports from her daughter’s middle school pickup line and goes over what is currently “in” and “out” with the younger generation. From skinny jeans to peace signs, she touches upon what’s now considered “cringe”.

“Do not even think about wearing pants that even hint at being tight,” Hitchon informed viewers in her first viral video. “Don’t even try it. A straight-leg jean is like, barely making the mark. If you do anything, that’s the takeaway.”

In another video, she added: “This is going to come for the throat of every millennial, but not only are skinny jeans out, so are skinny leggings. If you’re going to wear a legging, it needs to have some kind of flare to it or you need to be wearing sweatpants.”

She continued to address which selfie poses were considered cool among the middle school set.

“This next one is also very much an attack on millennials, and I apologise in advance, because it hurts me too,” Hitchon said. “Throwing up a cute peace sign when you’re trying to take like a cute, fun selfie is no longer a thing. In fact, my daughter always tells me it’s ‘cringe’ when I do it. It is, however, acceptable to do a heart, or if you really want to impress, you can do the middle finger big heart.”

Hitchon also noted that the “coquette aesthetic” is really popular with her daughter’s peers, with headbands dubbed as one of the more chic accessories to wear. However, the look doesn’t take a page out of Gossip Girl’s Blair Waldorf.

“Blair Waldorf-style big headband, or even just like a hard headband in general, is no longer a thing,” she said. “However, the thick, chunky, elastic headbands are very much acceptable, but you need to make sure you’re pushing your bangs back with them.”

She made a point of addressing what slang was cool and cringe. “And last but not least,” she added. “‘Slay’ is very much on its way out. You can say ‘major,’ but that’s still kind of for, like, the old cool kids. My daughter says that you need to say that ‘you ate that.’ For example, when she likes the dinner I cooked, she says, ‘you ate that.’”

Hitchon has garnered millions of views with her videos, with many in the comment section writing that they’re entertained by learning more about what’s hip with the kids these days.

“I love learning about the young people!” one person wrote below one of her videos. “It’s like anthropology.”

Meanwhile, some noted that these children exploring their sense of style and making questionable fashion decisions is all a rite of passage.

“When I was in middle school, girls would wear four tank tops at once and call it a slay,” someone commented. “Let these kids enjoy their fashion.”

But some millennial parents took to the comment section to express that no matter how cringeworthy middle schoolers think skinny jeans or leggings are, they’d have to pry the styles out of their cold, dead hands.

“You can pry leggings off my cold dead body,” one person said, to which Hitchon replied: “Fair.”