Loneliness and recovery time ‘among biggest surprises for new mothers’

Preparation and speaking openly about challenges are key to helping first-time parents, poll suggests

Many were shocked by how lonely they felt and how their relationships changed with people around them not in the same situation (SWNS)

New mothers have revealed the biggest surprises they had after giving birth, including how many people have opinions on their parenting, the closeness experienced when feeding their baby, and how skilled they became at eating a meal one-handed.

A poll of 1,000 women who had given birth within the last 10 years found they were also taken aback by how long it takes to leave the house, the amount of gear they need to carry around and how little time they have to themselves.

Others were shocked by how lonely they felt, how their relationships changed with people around them not in the same situation and even how often their newborn needed to feed.

But the surprises were not all bad, as women said they were also amazed at just how quickly they forgot what life was like before their newborn and how rewarding breastfeeding can be.

A spokesperson for Vitabiotics, which commissioned the survey, said: “For many first-time parents, there are lots of new discoveries after having a baby.

“While many of these are positive things, some can be more unwanted, but are a surprise because they simply aren’t spoken about openly.

“But the more honest we are about the post-natal period – otherwise known as the fourth trimester – it can help mums be more prepared for the good and bad, hopefully making it a more relaxed and enjoyable time.”

The survey found 79 per cent of mothers had been surprised by some of the things they encountered during the post-natal period.

Nearly half (47 per cent) of those blamed this on people not talking about it honestly, while 43 per cent said TV programmes and films did not represent this time period.

Others admitted they had never given the topic any thought (40 per cent) or that they were the first of their friendship group to have a baby (34 per cent).

Despite the surprises, generally, 53 per cent enjoyed the post-natal period, although 48 per cent found it harder than they expected.

Nearly four in 10 (39 per cent) said more open conversations about what it is really like would have helped make the period easier for them, while 32 per cent thought it would have been better if they had had friends or family close by.

Others would have felt more prepared if they had seen the bad, or less glamourous, side of parenting more often on social media (32 per cent) or had known more people going through the same thing (30 per cent).

It also emerged 65 per cent of mothers were surprised by how long it took them, mentally and physically, to recover from pregnancy and giving birth.

SWNS