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I got this rather large white envelope marked On Her Majesty's Service and I thought `Oh, gosh, this is a tax demand.'
DJ Alan `Fluff' Freeman, on receiving notification of his MBE
I put the owl up to stop the pigeons swooping down on the garden. My mum's got a phobia about birds and she daren't go out when they're around.
Martin Ward, cleared of harassment charges after he hung up a one-eyed plastic owl to scare his neighbour's racing pigeons
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Ken Coates, MEP for Nottinghamshire North and Chesterfield, who threatens to stand as a protest candidate in the 1999 Euro-election
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Bill Alexander, former British commander of the International Brigade, on writer Laurie Lee's "pure fantasy" reminiscences of the Spanish Civil War
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Authors of the report `Sonntags Zeitung', which reveals how Swiss police have secretly tracked mobile phone users through a telephone company computer
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Arthur Percival, director of the Faversham Society, who campaigned to recover a Georgian shopfront from Chicago only to find the Yus, who run a Chinese takeaway, don't want it back
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Doreen West, 78, whose book `Louie - A Country Lady' has sold 500 copies throughout Oxfordshire
No one knows what the job is going to be. I am sure, however, if the job is right - and if it is true the Conservative Party will run a Londonwide primary to choose a candidate - that would be an extremely attractive thing to do. That is the 110 per cent, 18-carat honest answer. I really have not come to a firm conclusion and I don't want to seem to be grand about it.
Chris Patten on whether he would run for mayor of London
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