The Wine Column: A cheering reason to get merry

Try not to be alarmed if, over the next couple of weeks, you see a cheery-looking Tony Blackburn, now fully recovered from his exposure in the Australian jungle, raising an enormous balloon-shaped glass containing a good half a bottle of wine, with the message, "Take Tony's advice and drink with care."

This is the same vessel I use when the doctor says I should drink just one glass a day, but that's beside the point. As its contribution to Comic Relief, the wine trade is entering into the spirit with gusto and a series of promotions leading up to Red Nose Day on Friday, 14 March. To help us identify them, the special wines featured by participating high street and supermarkets bear the red Tony Blackburn necklace indicating that 10 per cent of the price of the wine will go to Wine Relief.

It's only natural if we do buy the wines that we should want assurances that the money is properly spent. As Gordon Brown said, when he and Clare Short launched the campaign for doubling aid to halve poverty in developing countries: "Too often aid, donated for the best reasons, has brought the worst results: cash that lines the pockets of corrupt élites rather than food that lines the stomachs of the starving."

That isn't the case here. Comic Relief is a genuinely worthy cause, as is its offshoot Wine Relief, which raised £350,000 for charity during the last Red Nose Day campaign in 2001. Comic Relief's "golden pound promise" ensures that the full pound donated goes to the Red Nose Day grant pot for charities in Africa and the UK while administration costs are covered by sponsorship deals and gifts.

Earlier this year, Comic Relief previewed the featured wines and I've taken my pick from the tasting for this week's selection. While the number of wines has been upped from two years ago, the selection and overall standard remains patchy. Couldn't First Quench, for instance (incorporating Thresher, Wine Rack and Bottoms Up), make more effort than coming up with a couple of dreary whites and reds?

Red Nose Day is supposed to be fun but few supermarkets or high street chains have taken the opportunity to show much in the way of suitably unusual, quirky or interesting wines. In trotting out mostly big brands, retailers seem more concerned to use the event as an excuse to increase sales, which rose 165 per cent in 2001.

Comic Relief claims that "retailers have kindly agreed to donate 10 per cent of the retail price". In some cases it has been led by its own red nose into giving credit where credit isn't due, for the retailer is not always making the full donation. In fact some of the most profitable are not being quite as generous as they make out. Certain supermarkets, among them Tesco and Sainsbury's, admit to obtaining contributions for all or part of the 10 per cent from suppliers, who are no doubt only too pleased for the chance to gain market share.

Call me a cynic, but if the likes of Oddbins and Majestic can foot the bill, surely it's not too much to hope that everyone involved in the Wine Relief promotion will donate the full 10 per cent themselves and show off some interesting wines into the bargain? Charity shouldn't be about promoting yourself, at least without giving what's expected.

www.comicrelief.com