Style Shrinks: Our experts analyse Jerry Hall's 'Lynchian' nightmare of an outfit

 

Gemma Hayward,Hugh Montgomery
Thursday 25 October 2012 23:06 BST
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(Rex Features)

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The hair/make-up

Gemma Hayward: I like the fluffy texture and loose wave to her hair; it's a welcome distraction from the fashion faux pas beneath.

Hugh Montgomery: Well, if she will insist on such an elegantly natural look, then it's no wonder her tenure on Strictly Come Dancing came to such an abrupt end.

The accessories

Gemma: If you've draped yourself in leopard print and silk, why not go ahead and add to the tackiness and accessorise with fishnet tights, right? Wrong.

Hugh: But that's a perfectly pleasant bead necklace, if hardly a full set of rock stars: more Joss Stone's than Rolling Stones, to bleed the analogy dry.

The outfit

Gemma: I'm pretty sure this outfit is designer, but that doesn't mean she's wearing it well. I know it's easy to say she looks like Bet Lynch. But she does. Just add up-do and cigarette.

Hugh: Yes, Lynchian, indeed – though we do appreciate the opportunity to re-configure that adjective.

The shoes

Gemma: Did Dick Whittington not need his shoes tonight?

Hugh: Painful-looking square-toes and big elvish buckles make these a Grimm option.

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