Dilemmas: Do I tell Dad I'm gay?

JOHN is a 24-year-old teacher from a very conservative family. They are endlessly asking him questions like: 'When are you going to get married?'. The truth is that he is gay and happily living with Rick, a solicitor. Rick's parents have welcomed John into their family, and John has recently told his sister, who has completely come to terms with the situation. Finally John decides to come out to the rest of the family. But when he tells his mother, she takes the news badly, blaming herself and begging her son to see a psychologist. John particularly wants his partner to be accepted by the family, and his mother agrees to meet Rick; but the meeting is very stilted. She can cope, she says, on one condition, that John doesn't tell his father - 'It would kill him]'. John and his sister feel their father would be able to take the news. John longs to tell him the truth and wants him to meet Rick. What should he do?