Cuffing season ends on Valentine’s Day - say goodbye to your winter fling

As cuffing season comes to a close on Valentine’s Day, some people may be saying goodbye to their winter romances. Amber Raiken speaks to experts about the trend of relationships that won’t last and how younger generations are embracing expiration dating

While Valentine’s Day is deemed the romantic day of the year, it’s also the annual end of a popular dating trend: cuffing season. The trend coincides with the winter season, and sees people take advantage of the opportunity to date one person during the cold months, also known as being “cuffed” up.

As noted by Merriam Webster, cuffing season refers to “period of time where single people begin looking for short term partnerships” during the cold season. The search for the winter romance usually starts around October, with the relationship going until after Valentine’s Day. However, not everyone has followed that time table when casually dating.

Over the years, cuffing season has become a bigger phenomenon on social media, with a woman named Elizabeth recently sharing a dating schedule, which went from August to February, on TikTok. After describing August and September as a time to figure out what you want in a relationship, she acknowledged that cuffing season then “moves pretty fast” in October, when you can date as many people as you please. According to the plan shared by Elizabeth, you can be coupled up by 1 December, before deciding by 1 February if you want the relationship to continue.

Now that Valentine’s Day is here, people may have either fallen in love with their winter flings or are saying farewell to them. In addition, they’re factoring in what their intentions with the romance are. Although there are sometimes opportunities to learn from relationships that don’t last, the dating trend shows that people are happily entering the world of casual flings.

Speaking to The Independent, New York City based relationship expert Susan Winter compared cuffing season to purchasing a winter coat, as it’s something that you wear specifically for the cold months. She also acknowledged that there are benefits to dating just one person when it’s chilly outside.

“It’s like ‘I want a little comfort and security. So I’ll just use one for this season,’” she explained. “So cuffing season is a real thing, as people are feeling too lazy to go out and date. They’re more motivated to settle down now than they are in the summer, when it’s easy and breezy. In winter, meeting people is cumbersome.”

With the aspect of finding someone to cuddle up with in the winter, and minimal opportunitues to meet people organically, some singles may make their way to the online dating apps. And according to Jaime Bronstein, a licensed relationship therapist and author of MAN*ifesting: A Step-By-Step Guide to Attracting the Love That’s Meant for You, it actually is during the cold months that the apps are a bit of a mad house, filled with people looking to be “cuffed”.

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Popular dating app Hinge previously found that men are 15 per cent more likely to be actively looking for a relationship in winter than at any other time of year, according to a 2015 poll. Women were also five per cent more likely to do the same. However, women were far less likely to want a relationship come the days of summer, as the results showed that men were 11 per cent less likely to seek out relationships during warmer months, while women were five per cent less inclined to do so.

Bronstein also acknowledged to The Independent that we can feel fairly isolated during the cold winter, since we’re spending more home than we do in the summer, spring or fall. Although feelings of loneliness can manifest during any season, the results of this extended alone time in the winter can bring us back to the dating apps, in search of someone to get cosy with.

“There’s this energy of wishing and hoping for someone, and thinking: ‘I don’t want to be alone,’ this fear energy is very strong during this time,” she said. “It’s not even this big announcement, like you have to be in a relationship. But I think you start seeing Christmas songs, reels, music and family on social media, around the start of cuffing season. And people start thinking: ‘I want that so I need to start somewhere.’”

She emphasised how the real life dating pool can feel empty, with less people out at the bars. With that in mind, it’s comforting to find someone to spend the season with. “People want to find that person to be with on a snowy day or a rainy day. Someone you can just stay at home with while not having to worry like: ‘I need to go out and find someone, or I have to go on apps and go on a date somewhere in the cold,’” Bronstein added.

Once you enter into a relationship during cuffing season, it’s important to keep your intentions in mind. Winter acknowledged that people aren’t entering these relationships for it to just be a one and done experience, even though the flings often end in February. In fact, younger generations are aware of the cuffing season trend, and have ultimately decided if they want it to be a part of their love lives.

“They’re entering these relationships in a segmented way, with the understanding that it can be disposable. So why not enter it?” Winter explained. “It psychologically provides the latitude that I can enter a relationship. But hey, it can also be just as easily have happened because it was cuffing season.”

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While we may know from the getgo that a relationship isn’t going to last, experts recommend keeping that awareness in mind. Winter advises people to communicate with their partners about what they want, including if it’s a breakup down the line, and be ready for it.

“We should constantly be asking: ‘How do I feel? Is this working for me? Do we have shared goals?’ And if you find that your goals and where you’re going in life have been compartmentalised into a brief two or three months in your partner’s mind, then you need to psychologically prepare for that or start to plan your exit strategy,” she said. “It can be hard to distinguish, like: ‘Am I entering a brief cycle of cuffing season or are we actually meeting each other and exploring our future?’”

Although some people are coupling up in the winter, others are breaking up. For example, 11 December has unofficially been named as International Break Up Day, after one survey suggested that the date is the most common time for couples to call it quits. However, International Breakup Day is also close to the holiday season, which is when couples spend more time together than usual, leading to the discovery that they may not be as compatible as they thought.

While the holidays are long over now, the fact that people say goodbye to the person they’re “cuffed up” with on Valentine’s Day is still very telling. The day of love can become a marker for a relationship, giving you the chance to discover if you just wanted this person around for cuffing season.

“If you find yourself thinking on Valentine’s Day: ‘Oh I do want to get that card from them.’ It’s like a time to take inventory of your relationship,” Bronstein explained. “So these holidays ultimately are a good thing because it helps you be very introspective and self reflective.”

According to Winter, it’s obvious why cuffing season and International Breakup Day take place during the colder months. During the summer and spring, your social schedule is maximised, with more occasions to mix and mingle with people outdoors. “As we hit the colder weather in many countries, we are not seeing people in real life and we will be finding partners online,” Winter added. “That’s why togetherness and breakups can occur at the same time.”

Ultimately, both Winter and Bronstein acknowledged that cuffing season is a real dating strategy, which gives us the opportunity to have those winter flings if we so choose. And while some people may be deciding this Valentine’s Day if they want to keep the fling going or not, the reasons for breaking up are deeper than the fact that cuffing season is ending.

“Every relationship is so different, so for ones that are really bad and ready to be done, someone can step up to the plate and just end it. That can oftentimes be a very positive thing, even if it’s right before Valentine’s Day,” Bronstein explained. “At the end of the day, everybody should just trust their own instincts and don’t base anything on what anybody else is doing. Do what’s right for you, whether that means trusting and feeling like this really is the right relationship or ending it and moving on.”