Bridesmaid downsizes gift to newlyweds after overspending on their wedding

‘Honestly, if I had spent that much on stuff there’s no way I’d still be giving a gift as well,’ one reader argues

The internet is coming to one bridesmaid’s defense after she admitted she was lowering the amount of her monetary gift for the happy couple.

Taking to Reddit’s popular Wedding Shaming forum, the candid bridesmaid admitted she wasn’t planning on giving the bride and groom the same amount of money she originally intended, after having to spend substantial amounts to be in the wedding party. Between the bachelorette party, her dress, the bridal shower, and her hair and makeup, the Reddit user said she had parted with way too much money already.

“I was planning on giving a close friend $400 as a wedding gift from myself and my boyfriend, but I changed my mind,” she wrote, adding that she wanted to knock $100 or more off the original estimate.

To be fully transparent, the Redditor detailed the cost of each event and item she paid for in order to be a part of the bridal party. “About $1k for the bachelorette, another $100 (plus alterations) for the dress, over $200 for her shower decor and gift from the bridal party, then $250 for hair and makeup if we get both done,” she said.

“She is giving us a makeup upgrade if we choose to have it done as well as some jewelry to wear the day of the wedding, but I’m financially exhausted,” the original poster confessed.

Nevertheless, the Reddit user said the bride’s family will be paying for the wedding, which made her feel less bad about not writing a big check. She also explained that she doesn’t feel inclined to spend too much money on their wedding present because one of the groomsman also won’t be giving the couple a gift.

She admitted: “I have a friend who told his groomsmen not to give a gift because of all they spent, and it must be so nice not to feel that obligation on top of everything else.”

Anonymous Reddit users agreed there shouldn’t be an obligation to get a gift for the bride and groom if you spend a lot of money on the wedding party.

One reader proclaimed: “Honestly if I had spent that much on stuff there’s no way I’d still be giving a gift as well. And if the bride expects cash I’d think she’s being greedy.”

“I’ve never given a gift for any weddings I was a bridesmaid in. If I wasn’t a bridesmaid but attended the bachelorette, I gave a smaller gift than usual,” another woman noted.

Someone else agreed: “If you bought decor for her shower AND a gift from the bridal party (weird) then you’re covered for gifts. You don’t have to give her any more.”

A former bride offered her experience to the stressed Reddit user.

“My best friend/bridesmaid gave me a set of $40 wine glasses as a gift and I didn’t bat an eye,” she admitted. “Bridesmaids spend so much these days. While some of my bridesmaids did give a high monetary gift I would never have expected it. It wouldn’t have even bothered me if my best friend just gave me a card. That’s just me though.”

According to The Knot, the average bridesmaid spends about $1,915 on everything from hair and makeup to a bridal shower gift and the bachelorette party. The wedding website also calculated that a bridesmaid will typically spend around $170 on a wedding gift for the couple.