Bride praised for replacing maid of honor after she refused to buy dress

‘It would not be fair to the other bridesmaids if you paid for her dress and not theirs,’ says Reddit user

Weddings are notoriously expensive, so it’s not always possible for the bride and groom to cover all of the expenses.

In a recent Reddit post shared to the popular “Am I The A**hole?” subreddit, one bride revealed why she needed to replace her maid of honor. The post began by explaining that all of her bridesmaids were employed, in their mid-20s, and had no children.

The group of bridesmaids had all gone dress shopping out of town while the bride paid for two hotel rooms. “For the dresses, my only requirement for them were that they had to be a specific blue color and no satin material. We spent the whole afternoon trying on dresses and everyone found one they liked, including my MOH [maid of honor],” the bride’s Reddit post read. “I’ve been told she picked out a $350 dress when most of my other bridesmaids had dresses in the $100-$150 range.”

However, her maid of honor had later complained about paying for the dress to one of the other bridesmaids. She told the bridesmaid that if the bride had specific dress requirements, then she should pay for the dresses herself. The maid of honor also claimed that her own bridesmaids didn’t pay for their dresses during her wedding.

“My bridesmaid told her I was being pretty reasonable with my request and that she can get any dress she wanted in her budget. MOH disagreed and the bridesmaid shrugged her off, but told me about it later,” the post continued.

One month later, the maid of honor called her and asked her to pay for the dress. The bride refused because she couldn’t afford it and noted that if she paid for her, she’d have to pay for all of her bridesmaids dresses. “She said she is the MOH and that everyone would understand it was a privilege she got,” the bride explained.

“I disagreed and our argument got a little heated. It ended with me saying if she could not get the dress, she couldn’t be in the wedding and I wasn’t budging on this. She hung up on me,” she wrote.

AITA for replacing my MOH in my wedding because she refused to buy her dress?
byu/Witty_Tumbleweed_ inAmItheAsshole

The maid of honor’s mother even got involved in the incident when she told the bride she was “being rude” for not buying the dress, claiming she “didn’t understand what it’s like to not have money for things.”

Since the argument, the woman has given another bridesmaid the maid of honor position, though she still gave her former maid of honor an invite to the wedding. “Some family is telling me I should have just paid for the dress.” she wrote. “I know ex-MOH is tight on money, but she’s known she was going to be in my wedding for nearly two years at this point so I thought she would set aside money for it.”

After posting, people turned to the comments section to defend her decision to not pay for the dress.

“It would not be fair to the other bridesmaids if you paid for her dress and not theirs. The most egregious part is the fact that all of your bridesmaids were given your criteria for the dresses and she picked out a $350 dress while the other bridesmaids picked out dresses in the $100- $150 range. Then she wants you to pay for the $350 dress!” one comment began.

“If she truly wanted to be in your wedding, she would have saved $100-$150 over a two year period. Clearly, her desire was to score an expensive dress that she did not have to pay for. As to her mother’s comment, it sounds like you are welcoming her to be there for your big day - just not as a bridesmaid who won’t pay for her dress.”

Another commenter agreed, writing: “Sometimes brides pay for bridesmaids’ dresses. Sometimes they don’t. MOH knew you weren’t and picked a dress at least twice as expensive as everyone else’s, then whined that it was too expensive.”