Bride defended for replacing maid-of-honor who refused to buy her dress for wedding

‘It would not be fair to the other bridesmaids if you paid for the [MOH’s] dress and not theirs,’ one person responds on Reddit

The maid-of-honor is said to have started complaining about having to buy her dress (Getty Images/iStockphoto)

A bride has been defended for replacing her maid-of-honor, who refused to buy her dress for the wedding.

In a recent post shared to the popular “Am I The A**hole” Reddit forum, a woman noted that she went shopping for dresses with her bridesmaids and maid-of-honor “months ago,” as she’s getting married in the fall. After describing her wedding plans, the woman also opened up about her relationship with her maid-of-honor.

“I’ve known my MOH (maid-of-honor) since fifth grade and we were best friends all through school,” she wrote. “I moved away for college and we drifted apart, but I’d see her every time I came home.”

She noted that while the dress shopping was out of town, she paid for two hotel rooms to accommodate the people who were a part of the wedding party. She then detailed the guidelines bridesmaids had for dress shopping and how the event went.

“My only requirement for [dresses] was that they had to be a specific blue color and no satin material,” the bride continued. “We spent the whole afternoon trying on dresses and everyone found one they liked, including my MOH. I’ve been told she picked out a $350 dress when most of my other bridesmaids had dresses in the $100-$150 range.”

However, the bride expressed that her MOH later “began complaining to one of [the] other bridesmaids about having to pay for her dress,” with claims that the bride should pay for the dresses since she wanted specific ones. The MOH also pointed out how her friend “didn’t pay for the bridesmaid dress when in her wedding.” But, the Reddit user said that this was because the MOH got at 18 and they wore “old prom dresses [they] already had.”

She then expressed how the bridesmaid, who the MOH was complaining to, came to the bride’s defense.

AITA for replacing my MOH in my wedding because she refused to buy her dress?
byu/Witty_Tumbleweed_ inAmItheAsshole

“My bridesmaid told her I was being pretty reasonable with my request and that she could get any dress she wanted in her budget. MOH disagreed and the bridesmaid shrugged her off but told me about it later,” the post continued.

The bride noted that the MOH then asked her to pay for the dress, which was a request that was denied because it wouldn’t be fair to the other bridesmaids who bought their dresses.

“She said she is the MOH and that everyone would understand it was a privilege she got. I disagreed and our argument got a little heated. It ended with me saying if she could not get the dress, she couldn’t be in the wedding, and I wasn’t budging on this,” the bride added.

She noted that she’s since been criticized by the MOH’s mother, with claims that she’s “being very rude for not doing this one thing for [her friend] so she can be there” at the wedding. After sharing that she was also accused of not understanding “what it’s like to not have money for things”, she acknowledged how she hit back at the statement, before deciding to replace her MOH.

“I told [my MOH’s mother] I  have struggled before too and understand, but said I’m not paying for the dress because it won’t be fair to all of the other bridesmaids,” she explained. “I’ve since made one of my other bridesmaids, who has helped with all of the planning, my MOH.  I’ve told my ex-MOH she is still invited and sent her an invitation.”

She concluded by noting that some of her family members have told her to pay for the former MOH’s dress, as her friend is “tight on money.” However, the bride also pointed out that her friend had known for nearly two years that she was going to be a part of the wedding, and claimed that the former-MOH should have “set aside money” for the event.

The Reddit post has gone viral, with more than 3,900 upvotes. In the comments, multiple people defended the bride’s decision to replace her MOH, as they agreed that she shouldn’t pay for her friends’ dress when she’s not paying for the other bridesmaids’ outfits. Others criticized how the now-former MOH for picking a more expensive dress than the rest of the group did.

“It would not be fair to the other bridesmaids if you paid for her dress and not theirs,” one wrote. “The most egregious part is the fact that all of your bridesmaids were given your criteria for the dresses and she picked out a $350 dress while the other bridesmaids picked out dresses in the $100- $150 range. Then she wants you to pay for the $350 dress!”

“Sometimes brides pay for bridesmaids’ dresses. Sometimes they don’t. MOH knew you weren’t and picked a dress at least twice as expensive as everyone else’s, then whined that it was too expensive,” another added.

“It’s common to buy your own MOH/bridesmaid dress so if she can’t afford to be in the wedding (understandable if money is an issue), it’s quite alright to replace her,” a third added. “[In my opinion,] it was s***ty of her to complain about the dress to others when that was something she could have brought up to you one-on-one which makes me wonder if she is really struggling with money or simply didn’t want to buy the dress. Either way, you made the right decision.”