Be brave - take a holiday

Scared they won't get by without you - or scared that they will? Stop making excuses for not taking a break, says HESTER LACEY

The Earl and Countess of Wessex, aka Edward and Sophie, will already be back behind their desks after their somewhat truncated honeymoon - a mere four days in the not-too-far-from-the-office location of Balmoral. The happy pair explained that they were "too busy" to go away together for any longer.

Spending time at work rather than lazing around on a sun-lounger is in fact a bit of a Wessex priority. Interviewed before the wedding, when Miss Rhys-Jones was asked why it had taken them so long to get round to tying the knot, she replied, "We were building our businesses." And when Edward was asked why Sophie was his perfect bride, he romantically noted, "We have had many similar experiences in terms of our business careers," adding that his first responsibility was to the employees of his television production company, Ardent.

Edward and Sophie are not alone in being absolutely rubbish at taking time off. Julia is a member of the only Workaholics Anonymous group in this country. She has been attending for five years, and is gradually coming to terms with her reluctance to take a break from her career as an author. "I've had a fortnight's holiday this year already. I'm planning another in September, and maybe a weekend away too, so I'm feeling very smug," she says. She puts her former inability to drop everything and jet off to the sun down to fear. "I'm scared I'll be fired while I'm away so I put it off and put it off and then my diary is full," she explains. "My worst bit is coming back. There's a moment in the plane when I just go stiff with horror at the thought of how much work I'm coming back to."

Although few are quite so extreme, plenty of other people suffer from holiday aversion in one form or another. The British work the longest hours in Europe, a much-quoted statistic - and for many people there has to be some element of choice in sticking like a limpet to their desk. After all, other countries manage to holiday - in August, for example, the French depart en masse, enjoying a wonderful communal traffic jam at the start of their vacances familiales.

It seems there's almost a sense of pride in being too vital to the smooth running of the office to be able to take a break and leave the idiots you work with to their own devices. Laura, who works in publishing, was pulled up sharply one day when she was complaining that she never had time to take a holiday because her job was so pressured. "A friend said to me, `Do you really, honestly believe that everything will grind to a halt if you're not there?' I was quite shocked - it made me look at myself in a different way and I felt rather embarrassed. I found it quite worrying."

Although she still finds it hard to let go, she is trying to change her attitude. "In fact it's good for your team when you go away. It builds their confidence and gives them practice at taking the initiative - all things you probably wish they'd do more of, and that they probably find easier when you're not there." She believes that the current culture of working harder and longer doesn't help. "It's overpowering. I have reached a point where my self-worth is mostly down to how my job's going, so of course I find it hard to drop it for holiday time."

If it's traumatic enough to force yourself to get on the beach in the first place, when you get there the experience itself isn't always what you might hope. Some particularly sad types simply can't tear themselves away completely: they spend their time by the hotel fax waiting self-importantly for urgent communications from the office, and they get sand in their laptops on the beach. For other people, the holiday experience is draining enough in itself to make them want to stay behind a nice peaceful desk. "Frankly, holidays are as stressful as being in the office, though in a different way," says Mark, who manages a marketing team. "Anyone who's ever tried to keep an eye on two small children on a crowded beach will know exactly what I mean. You don't relax," he adds with a hollow laugh. "Especially not if your mother-in-law's back at the villa getting the lunch ready." Mark says he suffers from an irrational fear that when he gets back to work everyone will have forgotten who he is. "I always worry that whoever is covering for me will have done too good a job," he says. "I would almost not go away because I don't feel secure about what's happening when I'm not there."

Psychologist Diana Pidwell thinks that Edward and Sophie's four days was a very short break indeed. "They are both in stressful jobs and you need a few days to unwind at the beginning of the holiday before you spend at least a week relaxing to benefit from the break," she says. However, she approves of their choice of location. "They will be more likely to be out of the eyes of the media at Balmoral than somewhere more glamorous. And if you only have a short time, going somewhere quiet in this country is a good idea. If you go halfway round the world you have all the stress of getting there and when you do, you don't have time to take advantage. Holidays themselves can be stressful if you don't build in some peace and quiet."

She says that today people are afraid not to be seen working long hours, but that even so it's important to take your holiday allowance. This applies even if you suffer from one of two common notions: first, that nobody can do your job half as well as you can, or second, that someone else could do it a lot better and indeed will, the minute you turn your back. Diana Pidwell recommends spreading holiday allowance out for maximum benefit - several shorter breaks rather than just one long one. And, she believes, we need more holidays. "An allowance of four, five, or even six weeks just isn't enough when work today is so stressful."

This is a notion that will fill holiday-phobics with horror. But it is possible to overcome holiday aversion. Of the eight people who regularly attend Workaholics Anonymous meetings, two are currently on holiday. It is, says Julia, "a triumph".

Workaholics Anonymous, PO Box 11466, London SW1V 2ZQ.

SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO?

4 You have a whole week off. BUT what you really need is a week to wind down, a comatose week, then a week to psyche yourself up to go back.

4 You don't have to spend hours in front of your computer screen. BUT when you get back you'll have forgotten your passwords.

4 You don't have to write any memos or reports. BUT you have to write postcards.

4 You can de-stress, which is good for your health. BUT you succumb to the cold you've been holding off because you've been too busy to be ill.

4 You don't have to wear a suit. BUT you have to wear a swimming costume.

4 You get away from all your ghastly colleagues. BUT you're stuck with your ghastly family.