... and how your doctor shouldn't treat you

Nick, aged 45: I hate the way doctors retreat into the language of the nursery, using words like tummy, instead of abdomen or stomach. Some years ago I went to my doctor because I had swollen, painful testicles (which turned out to be mumps). He asked me whether I had been "monkeying around". It took me a while to work out what he meant. Roughly translated it was: "Could you have caught this from a sexual contact?" Why didn't he just say that?

Jo, aged 20: I hate the way the university medical service is keen to prescribe drugs for everything. One of my friends was depressed and was having trouble writing her essays. The doctors prescribed her beta- blockers [drugs which slow the heart rate and lower blood pressure], when what she needed was some good pastoral care.

Jennifer, aged 51: I do not like the way doctors have so little time to discuss matters with you and cannot remember what they last told you. I am coming up to the menopause and am wondering whether to take hormone replacement therapy, which is a complicated issue. I read about it as much as I could, and when I raised it with my doctor,she seemed to resent that I had tried to find out about it. On the other hand, she did not have time to give me her views on the subject. I admire doctors who admit that there are things that they do not know and that there is medical uncertainty on certain subjects.

Sam, aged 54: I don't trust the reliability of my doctor, ever since I asked him to refer me to an eye specialist because my mother had developed glaucoma [a condition which runs in families], and he told me categorically that I was at no greater risk than any other member of the public. After a great deal of persuasion, he grudgingly referred me, and the specialist confirmed that the disorder had a genetic component.

Gilly, aged 38: Some doctors can be rather brutal. I had a bad experience with a consultant once, who seemed to enjoy giving me bad news. I went to him with a lump in my neck. He told me that it was Hodgkin's Disease, which is serious. I was stunned, so I asked whether it could be anything else. He said: "Well, it could be some other lymphatic cancer, I suppose." I was looking for a rather different answer. Luckily, it turned out to be a lipoma, a harmless, fatty lump. If he had bothered to consult my notes, he would have found that I had a tendency to develop them, having had one removed from my back a few years before.

Sally, aged 29: I used to have a brilliant doctor but he retired. I do not go any more because the last time I went, the doctor was so rude. I went with bad shoulder pains and she told me it was because I had large breasts and I was overweight. I was only 9 stone, which is probably half- a-stone overweight for my 5ft 2in, but I was not prepared to go on a diet because, as a teenager, I had a serious eating disorder. If the doctor had bothered to look at my notes, she would have known that. I went to a physiotherapist, who made my shoulder better.

Peter, aged 58: I do not like the way my GP treats me like a hypochondriac, but he may be right. He told me once: "I see an awful lot of you." That has made me feel uncomfortable about going. I think my doctor hears my complaints, but does not pay much attention to them.

Elizabeth, aged 52: My doctor seems completely uninterested in me. The first time I saw him was to register, and he commented on how young I looked for my age, which I thought was quite inappropriate and offensive. The next time was when I had cystitis. I took him a urine sample and he prescribed some antibiotics, but he could hardly be bothered to look up from his desk. He can see from my notes that I have a heart arrhythmia [abnormal heart rhythm], but he shows no interest in that whatsoever. My partner has raised blood pressure, and although he prescribes him drugs, he has never once discussed diet, exercise or alcohol with him.