Australia will welcome Julian Assange back – but, trust me, you wouldn’t want him in your spare room

I got to know the WikiLeaks founder when he was my house guest over a decade ago. He might have a phenomenal mind, but he could certainly improve on his domesticity, writes Kathy Lette

Julian Assange has left Belmarsh Prison and flown out of the UK, WikiLeaks has said (PA)

It’s the news we’ve been waiting for, even if, at times, it felt like it might never happen. My friend, Julian Assange, has finally been released from a high-security prison in the UK, after striking a deal with the US prosecutors to end the legal saga over classified documents leaked by the WikiLeaks founder; and I cannot wait to see him freed.

Heroic freedom fighter or maverick controversialist, he has long been a polarising character. I first got to know Julian as a house guest, rather than a hero, when, 13 years ago, he came to stay in my attic. I was married to human rights lawyer Geoffrey Robertson at the time and, as a result, our house was filled to the rafters with exiled prime ministers, banned poets, tabloid-dodging celebrities, political prisoners on the run… basically, I’ve had everybody in my attic except Dorian Gray.

Julian had been looking for legal advice in 2010 over sexual assault allegations. He was determined to clear his name, but feared extradition from Sweden to the US where he would be left to rot in some impenetrable supermax prison. I thought he was overreacting at the time. More fool me.

During his stay, I got to know Julian so well that when The Simpsons planned to feature him in their 500th episode, he asked me to write his dialogue. Now, for any writer, a credit on The Simpsons is the ultimate accolade, so I accepted with joy. The resulting episode is pithy, witty and topical, although the producers cut my favourite line – Marge asks Julian for the recipe for his barbecue marinade, to which he replies: “I’m sorry. But I never reveal my sauces.”

Which Julian has never done, of course. But then again, nor has he done much marinading. Giving the room a sweeping glance was the closest he ever came to housework. My maverick pal may be a captivating and intriguing house guest, but domesticated, he is not.

I also quickly gleaned that Julian is on the autism spectrum. My own son was diagnosed as autistic at three years old. Consequently, I have a finely tuned antenna for people who share this neurological condition, the chief characteristics of which are a high IQ – Julian is basically Wikipedia with a pulse – and a low emotional quotient. It was no surprise to me when he was recently diagnosed as being on the spectrum. It explained Julian’s formidable focus and fortitude. It also helped clarify why he so often misreads social situations.

When Julian took refuge at the Ecuadorian embassy in 2012, I would often visit. In lieu of the usual bottle of champagne, I would bring along a succession of bubbly pals to cheer him up, from Ruby Wax to Aussie comediennes Pamela Stephenson and Jane Turner.

To us Aussies, the Assange solution always seemed obvious – send him home to us. After all, Australia began the colonial part of our history as the world’s largest open prison. Thanks to the tireless efforts of our prime minister, Anthony Albanese, and legal eagles like Jennifer Robinson and other dedicated campaigners, finally, after 1,901 days of cruel incarceration in Belmarsh Prison, Julian is boomeranging back to Botany Bay.

I’ve no doubt he’ll be met with open arms and accolades as our crème de la crim. Just don’t expect him to do the washing up.

Kathy Lette’s latest novel, ‘The Revenge Club’, published by Head of Zeus, is out now