Need a hug but don’t have a human to hand? Try a weighted blanket

Insomnia is a curse for which there seems to be no cure – as Christine Manby well knows. But perhaps a really heavy blanket will help?

Illustration by Tom Ford

It’s that time of year when all sensible Northern hemisphere mammals are hibernating. I don’t know about you, but I have a strong urge to do the same. I’m ready for it, having put on a considerable layer of fat that will keep me going through several winters over the Christmas holidays. Which of us didn’t angry-eat a whole box of mini mince-pies on the morning of December 27th? Oh, really? It was just me then.

Anyway, I’ve done the laying on of supplies thing. How about the ability to stay asleep for weeks on end? Or even for a whole night in one go? The holidays were, for me, a period of three am awakenings. Not the usual party season type, caused by a bladder full of wine, but the type in which you jolt awake from a bad dream and stay awake because Brexit, your career crisis and those niggling mid-life health worries are a waking nightmare that won’t end with you stepping out of the shower to the grateful surprise of a spouse who thought you died several months ago (google “Bobby Ewing taking a shower”, young people).

I tried not drinking alcohol. I tried not eating late. I tried turning off my phone an hour before bedtime (OK, 10 minutes before bedtime) but nothing seemed to make a difference. Falling asleep was never the problem. I needed something to keep me held down in the world of dreams for at least six hours. Perhaps I needed something that would literally keep me held down?