The best way to chase my youth? A new pair of roller skates at 42

My first outing was successful in the sense of not breaking a bone, writes Katy Brand

Keep expectations low is ever my motto, and then have another look and see if you can lower them a bit further (Getty/iStock)

I have just bought myself a pair of new roller skates. I am 42 years old. They are black boots, so are therefore a little chic (I tell myself) and there are proper roller skates on the base, four wheels in two pairs, rather than “in-line” – I know my limits. Or do I?

Between the ages of nine and 12 you would have a fight on your hands if you tried to remove my blue and yellow roller boots from my feet. I spent many happy hours pushing and gliding around the neighbourhood without a thought for potential injury – no helmet, no knee-pads.

I tackled downward hills with ease and style (I imagined). I very rarely had to grab a lamp-post to stop myself from falling. Only three cars in my street were damaged as a result of performing an emergency stop.

Now, however I am 30 years older and several stone heavier. But my enthusiasm is undimmed. This time I have bought a helmet and knee-pads. And wrist guards and cushioned gloves and elbow pads. Because even though I felt quietly confident, I also do not wish to be in hospital at my age in the midst of a global pandemic because I fell over on my roller skates. This would be a humiliation too far, even for me.

My first outing was successful in the sense that I defined success as "not breaking a bone". Keep expectations low is ever my motto, and then have another look and see if you can lower them a bit further. I stayed on my feet, that is all I can tell you, with my husband’s concerned words ringing in my ears: "You know you have to be very good at balancing, Katy, right?"

I am not very good at balancing these days, but I made it three times around the perimeter of a local public tennis court. The advantage of this is that there is wire fencing all the round you can cling to while you move gingerly at less than a mile an hour.

It is overlooked by local flats, this tennis court, and so anyone watching would have had a very good laugh I suspect. Well, I aim to please. And I will be going again this weekend.

Chasing my youth, trying not to go arse over tit. Watch out.