Women reveal the words that lead to the female orgasm

Having the vocabulary to describe sexual techniques in detail is crucial to sharing knowledge and enhancing experiences in the bedroom, writes Ian Hamilton

New female-led research reveals that only 20 per cent of women report an orgasm from penetration alone – and outlines language that could help (Getty Images/iStockphoto)

Imagine having no words or language to describe common experiences such as the pleasure of drinking or eating. It’s almost unimaginable, but that’s where we are with female sexual pleasure. 

New research reveals that only 20 per cent of women report an orgasm from penetration alone. The survey of 4,000 American women explores the techniques women use to make penetrative sex more enjoyable. 

Some of the names given to these techniques haven’t existed up to now. Having the vocabulary to describe the detail of positions and techniques for sex is crucial in not only sharing knowledge but enhancing this type of sexual pleasure. 

Four of these newly named techniques women use to make vaginal penetration more pleasurable are angling, which is rotating the pelvis to increase penile stimulation; rocking – rubbing the penis consistently against the clitoris; shallowing – using penetrative touch just inside the vagina; and pairing – where the women stimulates her clitoris during penetration.

Without names for these techniques, which have been used for decades, they become unspeakable, making it difficult to communicate with a partner. These techniques, and the names given to them, provide a way to educate male partners on how to improve penetrative sex for women. 

Many men are unaware of the physiology of the clitoris and how it can be stimulated effectively, so having these terms that describe how they can improve female pleasure during penetrative sex could help.

This data helps dispel the idea many women have that they are somehow to blame or have something wrong with them when they don’t orgasm. Language and stats around sexual pleasure will no doubt help to empower the many women who derive limited pleasure from penetrative sex. 

It also helps normalise the idea that women should routinely experience pleasure, and be able to express their individual preferences and what works for them in terms of sexual positions and stimulation to achieve an orgasm.

That said, having more language and understanding on its own won’t make much of a difference to the men and women who find it embarrassing and uncomfortable talking about sex and potential techniques to maximise pleasure. Referring to reading articles like this is a way of starting the conversation, suggesting that one or all of these named techniques could be tried the next time they have sex. 

Women, like men, change their sexual preferences and the way they achieve pleasure over time as they age and as their relationships mature. So having information about these techniques can help to keep sexual relationships fresh, exciting and pleasurable for both partners, not just one of them.

Refreshingly, this new research was carried out by female researchers. We know that, historically, scientific research is dominated by men, ignoring important aspects of women’s lives – including how they do or don’t experience sexual pleasure.

This research is an important example not only of how female researchers bring unique insights, but of how these critical thoughts have the potential to improve life, not only for women but for men too. 

We all benefit from ensuring that women are encouraged not only to become scientists but to have the ability to set the topics for research. This research is just one of many areas that up to now have been ignored, despite the potential it has to transform lives.