Mea Culpa: all the right words, but not necessarily in the right order
Questions of style and usage in last week’s Independent, reviewed by John Rentoul
It is so easy to write all the right words but not necessarily in the right order. As we know what we mean to say, the words make perfect sense to us, but we have to be careful that when they arrive in the reader’s brain they mean the same.
In a report last weekend of crabageddon, the mysterious death of crustaceans on the northeast coast of England, we said: “Eco activists, scientists, fishermen and divers, concerned about the disaster that threatened the creatures as well as their livelihoods, suspected the blame lay with toxins linked to dredging...”
When I read it I thought it was the livelihoods of the creatures that were threatened. It wasn’t hard to work out what we meant, but the image of crabs worried about the survival of their small businesses was an unnecessary distraction. A simple reversal was all that was needed: “threatened their livelihoods as well as the creatures, ...”
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