The thought of re-entering society after lockdown gives me a tingle of excitement – and fear

I’m not one for bold statements, but at the park today it actually did feel like it was over. I was pretty much the only one wearing a mask, so I took it off out of mask shame. It felt good. Real good, says Konnie Huq

It was a bit sunny so I took the kids to the park. Wild. It felt like a pre-pandemic bank holiday weekend: very wild (Reuters)

The completion of step 1 happened this week (that’s the first stage of the easing of the rules that came in before Christmas, in case you didn’t know; but you probably did. And if you didn’t, where have you been?!).

The answer to that question is, of course: nowhere. You couldn’t have been anywhere, because step 1 hadn’t happened, then. We’ve all had to STAY AT HOME.

Monday 29 March saw the second and last phase of step 1, though, which means you can now go somewhere, if you want – not on holiday or overnighting or anything like that (that’s step 2 onwards), but you can do “minimal travel”... whatever that means. Somewhere beyond the supermarket, presumably.

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Two households can even mix outdoors – or six socially distanced people can gather outdoors. Things are getting wild. I didn’t mean that sarcastically but it feels like they kind of are. Not to mention the schools breaking up this week for the Easter holidays. It was a bit sunny so I took the kids to the park. Wild. It felt like a pre-pandemic bank holiday weekend: very wild.

I can’t scoff at the people that were there – I mean, I was one of them – but there did seem to be a lot of us. All these people and bodies everywhere; laughing and smiling and coughing (well, I’m not sure about the latter; I just added it for effect – but you get my drift).

It feels like it could well nearly be over. I’m not one for bold statements (and am touching wood as we speak) but at the park today it actually did feel like it was over. I was pretty much the only one wearing a mask, so I took it off out of mask shame. It felt good. Real good.

I’m not one for running before I can walk, and so currently locking horns for me is the sheer jubilance of the end of the pandemic – and a slight fear of the overwhelming nature of being plunged back into pre-pandemic life. Of course we won’t be plunged back, will we? Steps 2 to 4 only takes us up to, “no earlier than 21 June” – so I will get time to readjust, won’t I? This week has made me feel this may not be the case – though that could be all in my head.

My friend got invited to Bestival. “Bestival?”, she exclaimed to me at the park, in and amongst the other bodies. “I don’t think I could.” She’d be going solo with her kids, staying in a tent with loads of people and bodies in other tents all around; a sea of people laughing, smiling, coughing and spluttering. The thought filled her with horror, whereas a year ago, she wouldn’t have batted an eyelid. I totally get it – it’s a conversation I’ve been having with many people in different guises.

We’ve found comfort in wearing elasticated waistlines; and not rushing around, juggling everything. We’ve had a legitimate excuse, or, “get out of jail free” card when it comes to not looking immaculate (thank goodness Zoom calls aren’t in high definition). We’ve not had to take the kids to after-school clubs, or run errands, or even go to the gym. (Those are still closed, right? Shamefully, I don’t partake in gym exercise – but lockdown gave me a kosher “get-out”, whereas now it will have to be down to laziness again. Gah.)

Recently, I did venture out into the big wide world to film a small part as a news reporter for an Apple TV drama. Ironically, it was a crowd scene. Even more so: one of victory and jubilance, globally, as the people of planet Earth come out of a lockdown scenario. I kid you not (only aliens invading – not a pandemic.)

It felt so weird. Even weirder that – having heavily isolated for the best part of a year – I was now essentially in a mosh pit of celebrating strangers. Everyone there was in a bubble, and had been tested, but even so, we all had to don masks between every take. All so weird. I came out of the whole experience feeling dazed and confused. This was my first experience of dipping back into “normal life” (if that’s what you can call it). It felt fast and frenetic, compared to the slow pace to which I’ve now become accustomed. Ever since then, I keep having low level anxiety and slight dread about reintegrating into normality.

And what does “normality” look like? Well, this week I heard that we all have to book hair appointments and holidays fast or we’ll miss out, and there’s going to be a real rush on. The pressure! Which reminds me: I haven’t got round to sorting out my gym membership, either. Those reopen in step 2 (12 April, I know because I haven’t been able to do any gym classes due to the pandemic. Can’t wait!) Must also rush to get your Bestival tickets or those will be gone too. Hurry, hurry, hurry. It’s a bit like stockpiling loo rolls in reverse. When will we learn?

Step 3, no later than 17 May, sees events return in a big way with outdoor ones possible consisting of thousands of attendees and indoor ones of up to 1,000. Oddly, though, social contact outdoors is only permissible with up to 30 persons mingling – so if you’re having a BBQ any bigger than that, just call it an “event” and you’ll be fine.

Mingling: that’s a word we haven’t heard much in the last year. Well, step 4 will see more of it – along with nightclubs back in business (or not, as the case may be – let’s hope they make it through). As for general social contact, this can be unlimited.

UN-LI-MI-TED. The very word gives me shivers down my spine; a tingle of excitement and fear – in equal doses. Hopefully, it will all be OK, as long as people forgive my elasticated waistbands and don’t mind post-pandemic me in high definition.