Now we have to be worried about having the ‘wrong’ lawn

Long is the new short when it comes to our grass – and apparently brown is the new green, writes Janet Street-Porter

Lawns etiquette is changing (iStock/Getty Images)

The humble garden lawn has become a danger zone, something that you can be pilloried for getting “wrong”. It’s right up there with liking statues of war heroes and getting the initials LGBT+ muddled up in company.

A first-class lawn has always been a British gardener’s goal. Pristine, weed free, cut shorter than a squaddies’ trim. Smooth enough for a game of billiards. A glaring bright green, Manicured, primped and picked over until it’s unnaturally perfect.

Now, there’s a new set of rules. First, Monty, the Don of gardening, dared to break ranks with traditional horticulturalists (like my late father), letting slip that he thought mowing was “unnecessary” – and almost a bit macho.