Emma Raducanu’s success makes me feel I’ve failed as a parent

The pressure to produce children of this calibre can’t be ignored even if we dare not admit it, writes Salma Shah

The 18 year old A-level student managed to take her failure and let it power her through to a grand slam victory (PA Media)

It can’t be helped. Whenever a superstar celebrity credits their parents for the devotion and sacrifices they’ve made to help a child reach their goals, the sense of delight gives way to a niggling feeling of shame. Of course one’s heart swells to see parental love endorsed by the likes of Marcus Rashford and even Stormzy, but a deep-rooted anxiety is ready to take over.

Take the amazing victory of Emma Raducanu at Flushing Meadows. She’s exceptional! What a comeback after a disappointing tournament at Wimbledon. Instead of allowing herself to be written off, this 18 year old A-level student managed to take her failure and let it power her through to a grand slam victory.

More amazingly she scored all of this while being an A* student and showing an aptitude for maths that’s on par with her championship tennis, all during a time of Covid and lockdowns. She is talented, clever and beautiful to boot. She claims her success is down to her “very hard to please parents”. And there it is! The sentence that sinks the hearts of millions of middle-class mums and dads.

The pressure to produce children of this calibre cannot be ignored even if we dare not admit it. My carefully cultivated, child-led, liberal parenting style is anathema in the face of the Raducanu glory. So, I’ve decided that it’s time to channel one’s inner tiger mother.

We have little to no clarity on what specific parenting style Ian and Renee adhere to but being Romanian and Chinese respectively must have an impact. I remember my immigrant parents’ zeal for success and distress at failure. Work was the only joy and in a single generation I have ditched the mantra. How could anyone be so foolish? There is proven success in this method!

Emma speaks of her mother’s Chinese culture and that inherent inner self-belief, not to mention the fact she speaks well in her mother’s native tongue too. What amazing gifts to impart on your child. How empty one feels as a parent at not having shared the secrets of inner peace and a built-in access to one of the world’s largest commercial markets. It’s time to start speaking only in Urdu at home if my children have any hope of international stardom.

Helping little Emma into a selective school probably didn’t do any harm either. Newstead Wood School in Orpington can boast Olympic gold medallist Dina Asher Smith, Hollywood actress and Oxford graduate Gemma Chan, and author and human exploration programme manager at the UK Space Agency, Libby Jong, as alumni. Should we all now be sharpening our elbows? It’ll be tough to compete on a global stage without the prestige of a school that produces stars and scientists alike. Shouldn’t I be trying to sell up and get a third job to get into a catchment area and pay the fees?

It’s obvious that Emma is naturally gifted and that her parents love her. Success is largely built on love and support and a belief that your child should be free to pursue their dreams. The problem isn’t them; it’s me and others like me who are caught and trapped in a cycle of status mania.

Parenting is riddled with guilt and you never know what you’re doing. You just try your best and hope you don’t damage them completely but it can be hard not to see your own failures in other parents’ successes. Still... it won’t hurt to get a couple of extra tutors for the start of term.